I am trying to identify people I want to invite to a very toned-down version of a bachelorette party (think Lily's from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Without the vibrator). My little sis is organising it for me. I am stumped. Turns out, being an antisocial homebody with an ASD whose main interests are reading and television - not ideal for party planning. Even if the party involves tea at Fortnum and Mason's (now that bit I'm up for).

You know, not able to add much to the conversation other than to say how very much I love and admire the Bitches for you all are wise, amazing people.

Oh, and Nora and smonster-- I may be coming up with A Plan, at least perhaps come fall, after my schedule lightens a bit. My New Orleans story is being very, very insistent about my getting to it but for the kind of tone and color I need to make the story sing, I'm going to definitely have to visit. And I'm going to need people who live/love/know the city to show me their NOLA.

Think of it as Barb's Immersion Program.

Of course, this is all dependent on a LOT of things, not the least of which has to do with whether or not I sell the YA that's currently out on submission or have a glimmer of interest on this one, but boy, the more I think about visiting NOLA and getting Buffistas in the process, the more excited I am to write this thing.

Bachelorette party at Fortnum and Masons sounds like a lot of fun, Seska.

It sounds like there is definitely not going to be a wake or funeral for D since he made it clear in his suicide note that he didn't want one. I wish I was better knowing what to do with this kind of thing, but without the usual social conventions, I'm lost.

I remember that you don't like it, but I'm going to hug you anyway."

I think it goes without saying that I would have flipped out like a mammal at this person.

I do have a right to personal space, but she said that I have to remember that other people like hugs, too.

Then they should fucking hug other people.

I may have just convince my little sister to watch Firefly. She's only 14, is it gonna be too scary?

sj, can you find a way to remember him that is meaningful to you? Light a candle by a photo, or something he loved? I don't think there is a "right" way to grieve, especially in a case like this.

eta when I went for my grandma's funeral, I went into my grandparents' bedroom and snagged one of her curlers. I have years of memories of pulling them out of her hair and brushing it. That's all I wanted of hers, and it sits on my altar.

On a lighter note...

I'm going to definitely have to visit

WOO TO THE HOO. Hope to be a resident by then. And yes, you must visit to get the full flavah.

That's too bad, sj. When my uncle killed himself, his widow said she'd have a memorial after some time had passed so it could be more of a celebration of his life than what it would have been immediately (which would have involved a lot of anger, probably) but she never did and I know I missed having a communal ritual to mourn him. Oddly enough, the time we spent clearing out his house was as close as we got to a wake.

I encourage you and your family to set aside some time to remember D together at some point, whether you call it anything in particular or not.

(and Hil, as a hugger, i promise to never ever say "i know you hate this but...." and then chase you down from across the room. that's just not on.)

sj, that's so hard.

Oh, Trudy, I'm so glad to hear it.