Poor Mr. Peabody. Much ~ma.

bt... not even sure where to begin. I thought this was behind us, as a species (and my dictionary tells me species is the singular, too! That's cool. (What? I know I'm easily distracted)).

And thanks, Laura, but I don't think I'm all talk and no action - I mean, I do a lot (I think?), but I also kind of aspire to do nothing but bitching. There's a pendulum swing somewhere in there, which I try to balance. I also don't like bitching about things I cannot change in public. But I believe in the power of bitching in my private life (well, hello, have you met me?). And if sometimes I can combine between the two, then it's a win in my book.

ION, I think I decided I'm in need of a purple lipstick. I think it'll work great with my now very visible white hairs (you don't even have to search. I'm graying at 25 (began at 13, but now it shows)).

... because all the guys had to pass the same test, but with their dicks. I know all you guys pass...

this is brilliant.

Tep, I have no idea where to being from. I have no advices, and it feels as if I can't offer any real comfort.

But I read your posts, and I'm with you in your (absolutely-justified-and-dear-God-I'd-kill-someone-by-now-if-I-were-in-your-shoes) frustration.

Much, much ~ma to you and Tim in trying to get over this.

Oh, and feel free to threaten that kid with an ex-IDF girl that will come and kick his ass if he won't show nothing but his best behavior and gratitude while staying under your roof.

Eyes are the first parts to rigidify. After seven days they're bulging from the sockets but still intact. Not sure exactly when they collapse.

Yeah, this is how far I was able to get with the information I've already found.

Oh, and feel free to threaten that kid with an ex-IDF girl that will come and kick his ass if he won't show nothing but his best behavior and gratitude while staying under your roof.

How I love the image this brings to mind...

Steph, I feel for you so much, I don't even have words. I'm just reminded of all the times I've been asked for an inch and ended up giving a mile, because for whatever reason I couldn't walk away. Of course it's wonderful of Tim to help this guy out, but you're right that you should take precedence over an adult who either was willfully misleading and manipulating him, or is just a big bag of fuck-up that neither of you needs spilling out into your lives. Ever, but especially not right now. But if Tim feels some sort of obligation to this guy, it's going to be really hard for him to draw a line. I hope this all works out and the guy just picks up his stuff and his dog and leaves.

I started posting a whole bunch of stuff which I realized was unhelpful. I do feel for you, Steph.

I suspect Tim, who is a good guy, sees this as doing good guy stuff that the two of you would be doing together to help out someone in trouble, not as a prioritization of the past over your relationship. I agree with Zen that it is probably hard for him to draw a line. His sense of loyalty is a positive trait of his, if a problematic one right now. But you are absolutely right for wanting to be able to assert control over things as big as your shared living conditions.

I suggest approaching it from the other side and insisting that the two of you make a specific plan with boundaries for each likely scenario if you are going to move forward in this. I'd try to avoid ultimatum type language because that's not what either of you want.

But most of all, Tep, I really do feel for you. I would be ballistic. I mean, I'm not all that thrilled about feeling like I had a visitor foisted on me for the next week and it turns out a) the SO did in fact talk to me about it, I just thought it was speculative at the time and gave speculative answers and b) it's a good friend of ours we know we get along with. But I was still upset and resentful and made the SO feel like a jerk. And it's just for a week! So I really do get where you are.

Liese is wise. Boundaries are a good, good thing.

On a personal petty note, I woke up cranky and overwhelmed. Which is unfortunate, given that it's a gorgeous day and I have a shitload of stuff to do, including fundraiser wrapup and working for 7.5 hrs to make up for taking time off for said fundraiser. And next Friday evening I fly to NOLA! Which will be fun but holy SHIT. Not ready. Arrgh.

Related note... productivity game, anyone?

Huh, lost post.

Teppy, as much as I love the idea of Shir going to Ohio to kick ass, I really hope a solution presents itself that doesn't involve disruption of your home.

Jesus, Tep, just talk to Tim.

It's completely okay for you to say, "This is not okay."

Like this: "I love you, Tim. And I love that you are so loyal and extending yourself to this guy. But he's an adult. And a fuckup. And right now, he's damaging our relationship. I want him, his stuff and his dog out of here. As quickly as you can manage it, but no more than week. I am absolutely at the end of my rope in what I can deal with. I have no emotional resources. Work and life have been making me incredibly stressed. And this is more than I can deal. Honestly, this is too much. "