I'm at an airport again. Going back home now. Vacation was nice - I sat on the beach and went swimming and went on a boat to learn about fish and went to a bird sanctuary and a circus museum. Now, back to real life.

::waits for erika to come answer Barb's question::

Hil, that does sound relaxing! I would kill for a beach right about now.

Okay, this might be the world's grossest question, but anybody have any idea how quickly the eyes would deteriorate post-mortem?

Eyes are the first parts to rigidify. After seven days they're bulging from the sockets but still intact. Not sure exactly when they collapse.

Tep, that sounds...frustrating. Xanax is your friend?

I...don't actually know what to do. Right now our living room is full of boxes of his stuff, because Tim unloaded the U-Haul to return it, since we don't know if the kid can even move to Texas.

I am so angry -- I mean off the scale angry -- because I feel like this was all an underhanded way to get us to take his dog and, eventually, get us to let him sleep on our couch for a year.

When Tim was helping him plan this trip to Texas (just last weekend), the kid didn't mention ANYTHING about being 1 year into 2 years of probation for a DUI. He was just going to pick up and move. And right now, I honestly wish he had, which is really unkind of me. Because eventally he would have gotten busted for violating his probation, and probably had to return to Ohio.

It's possible to transfer probation from one state to another; there's a whole interstate commission that oversees it (I have done A LOT of research in the last 24 hours). But it's kind of at the discretion of the probation officer, who, frankly, sounds like a dick (although that was based on his reaction to Tim's ex when she called wanting information about her son).

An attorney is definitely called for, which is AWESOME because we're just rolling in buckets of money we don't need to throw at an attorney for my boyfriend's ex's 31-year-old son OH MY GOD.

Histrionics aside, from what I read, it sounds like he has a better than average chance of getting his probation transferred, because he has no job and no residence in Ohio, and he has, at the very least, a mom to live with in Texas.

But even if he gets approved, it could take 45 days or more. And he has no place to live when he gets out of jail.

I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. I can't take it. I cannot. And there is nothing I can do, and I feel like Tim's loyalties are with his EX-girlfriend's adult son, not to us.

I don't know what to do. Seriously. I've thought about 100 times in the last 24 hours about whether or not my mom would let me stay with them for a while. And then I thought, wow, that would be a HUGE crack in our relationship if I just left. And THEN I thought, well, what sort of effect on the relationship does Tim think it's having by making us turn our lives upside down for the adult son of his ex-girlfriend?

It doesn't matter how much I cry and wail. In the end, we're going to have him on our couch for at least a few days, and possibly a year, until his probation ends. And I don't think I can handle it. It's not JUST the intrusion into MY GODDAMN LIFE, which is bad enough; it's the fact that it's Tim's FORMER relationship that's taking precedence over his current one.

This kid is not a minor; he's an adult, who's made bad choices, and now the consequences are coming down on him. And *we* are getting hammered with them. His goddamn mother is in Texas; let HER deal with it. But she can't, because she's in TEXAS and all the legal bullshit is here in Ohio.

I don't even know. I just don't.

Poor Mr. Peabody. Much ~ma.

bt... not even sure where to begin. I thought this was behind us, as a species (and my dictionary tells me species is the singular, too! That's cool. (What? I know I'm easily distracted)).

And thanks, Laura, but I don't think I'm all talk and no action - I mean, I do a lot (I think?), but I also kind of aspire to do nothing but bitching. There's a pendulum swing somewhere in there, which I try to balance. I also don't like bitching about things I cannot change in public. But I believe in the power of bitching in my private life (well, hello, have you met me?). And if sometimes I can combine between the two, then it's a win in my book.

ION, I think I decided I'm in need of a purple lipstick. I think it'll work great with my now very visible white hairs (you don't even have to search. I'm graying at 25 (began at 13, but now it shows)).

... because all the guys had to pass the same test, but with their dicks. I know all you guys pass...

this is brilliant.

Tep, I have no idea where to being from. I have no advices, and it feels as if I can't offer any real comfort.

But I read your posts, and I'm with you in your (absolutely-justified-and-dear-God-I'd-kill-someone-by-now-if-I-were-in-your-shoes) frustration.

Much, much ~ma to you and Tim in trying to get over this.

Oh, and feel free to threaten that kid with an ex-IDF girl that will come and kick his ass if he won't show nothing but his best behavior and gratitude while staying under your roof.

Eyes are the first parts to rigidify. After seven days they're bulging from the sockets but still intact. Not sure exactly when they collapse.

Yeah, this is how far I was able to get with the information I've already found.

Oh, and feel free to threaten that kid with an ex-IDF girl that will come and kick his ass if he won't show nothing but his best behavior and gratitude while staying under your roof.

How I love the image this brings to mind...

Steph, I feel for you so much, I don't even have words. I'm just reminded of all the times I've been asked for an inch and ended up giving a mile, because for whatever reason I couldn't walk away. Of course it's wonderful of Tim to help this guy out, but you're right that you should take precedence over an adult who either was willfully misleading and manipulating him, or is just a big bag of fuck-up that neither of you needs spilling out into your lives. Ever, but especially not right now. But if Tim feels some sort of obligation to this guy, it's going to be really hard for him to draw a line. I hope this all works out and the guy just picks up his stuff and his dog and leaves.