There may have been some eyelash batting as well. But, it's not like he was actually looking at my face.

I've basically given up trying to control/exploit other peoples' perceptions of me, because most of the time I don't even grasp what they are until hours later ("oh, THAT'S why she/he was staring at me funny!"), and they seem to have more to do with that person than with me.

There may have been some eyelash batting as well. But, it's not like he was actually looking at my face.

It's good, if they're going to pretend, that you give them some other brief target of their attention.

I do know that if I need a little something done, I can go lean on the black guy's desk and get it done sooner, but on the flip side, I've just extended something, and he's likely going to feel reasonable to see how far he can pursue it.

What I love best is when it's tacitly understood that you're both being terribly superficial, and THAT'S IT. No need for future conversations, because that's not what the posturing was about.

I don't know. Talking about being able to take advantage of the way a guy decides to value the way a woman looks doesn't really strike me as a good thing. It's still them deciding whether a woman is worth treating well and they can take it away in a heartbeat if they decide they want more than flirting or if you, as a woman, refuse to play the boobs/pout/flirt game.

I don't blame anybody for doing what they gotta do, but I don't think it's good for anyone.

I don't blame anybody for doing what they gotta do, but I don't think it's good for anyone.

The dichotomy between social justice and a $50 parking ticket often falls to saving the money.

Anymore I seem to terrify people. Honestly I think it's just that I'll look them in the eye and force them to talk to me. Which, in this area, is terrifying for some people, to have a woman being direct and assertive. And I will confess that as the looks have gone, I'm happy to play up the "I'm old enough to be your mother, doofus" factor. I'm digging the onset of cronehood. Hubby works the good ol' boy/curmudgeon thing like nobody's business.

And men can get out of traffic tickets too. I was once stopped for speeding and asked "do you have any good reason why you wer going that fast?" My reply was "officer, I wish I could think of a good lie right now, but nothing comes to mind." The patrolman burst out laughing and let me off with a warning.

I'll look them in the eye and force them to talk to me.

When I work retail, I totally do that! And, I'm looking forward to doing that as a reference librarian. It's the best way to get the info I need to help them out the most.

Quester, glad you like the tag...it was Jon Stewart talking about my boyfriend Keith. To exploit one's looks, one has to be sure she has something to exploit, which I am not often. I have played the Impaired card more than a few times, though it always makes me feel dirty and does my self-loathing no favors.I could be a diversion for the Leverage posse though.

I've never acted like I was dumb or incapable to get anything extra. I won't do that. That's a line.

Take advantage of my looks? I'll do that. Take advantage of someone's underestimation of me because of my looks or gender? Yes, I will. And when they stop judging me based on shallow stuff, it won't work anymore. And that's perfectly fine.

Because it's a transparent privilege. Just like you can't stop being white in a white-dominated world, I'm not rationally going to stop having F cup breasts. I know it's a shallow trite privilege. And if I woke up tomorrow and the privilege went away, I wouldn't cry for a second. Just, you know, leave me my boobs.

Honestly, Daisy, you get stuff because you're pretty. You can't make people not favour that.

I think it does a number on some people's self-esteem and makes it easy to turn a blind eye to just how crappy it is that men still get to decide who gets whatever based on who they'd most like to sleep with. It makes me feel demeaned.