I think it does a number on some people's self-esteem and makes it easy to turn a blind eye to just how crappy it is that men still get to decide who gets whatever based on who they'd most like to sleep with. It makes me feel demeaned.

men still get to decide who gets whatever based on who they'd most like to sleep with

Women do it too. To women. And to men. And men do it to men. Sexual appeal greases the wheels on average across the board. Sexual equality won't make it go away.

I was once accused of using my looks to get my way. At the time I was certain I had no looks to use (I'm still doubtful, depending on the day and phase of the moon), so I figured it was all on him.

I'd like to try being a man for a couple of days. But on the whole, I'm ok with my current situation, institutionalized misogyny and all.

I did want to be a boy, but not in the gender dysphoria sense. I grew up wanting to play baseball and have a chemistry set, but I'm old enough that those weren't options. Then I spent most of my career working for organizations where all the non-clerical women employees could fit in an elevator. Those same organizations also did not reward guys who respected women, took time off work for their kids, or had wives with careers. Gay men had no chance either.

I try to be super polite and nice to new people, and I think when I look pretty, I get overall better reactions to that.

I resent the fact that a friend of mine with Bell's palsy who is shaped a bit short and squat often does not. She's treated as if she's invisible, and that hurts me.

I resent the fact that when I sense my super politeness is taken as something else, and I shut it down, suddenly things can turn downright hostile, and instead of telling me where the nearest garage is, suddenly I'm an ugly bitch.

Huh, I try to do what I can and help people regardless of whether I might want to sleep with them. I'm as likely to base it on how well I know them or if they've helped me.

If I don't know them it would likely be based on how they approached me and whether or not I felt intimidated as whether I thought they were attractive.

I try to be super polite and nice to new people, and I think when I look pretty, I get overall better reactions to that.

Because it's true. You don't have to like it. You don't have to just accept it as the way things are always going to be, but it's true.

And it's probably always going to be true. Women "pretty ourselves up" and it's frankly not just for internal happiness. It's because it is what our society values and we're buying into it.

If we weren't buying into it on every side nearly every President wouldn't be taller than average and generally quite good looking. It works.

You don't have to want to sleep with them, though. Why would straight men vote for a taller good looking president? Not because they're all secretly gheyz.

It's not about wanting them in a sexual way.

Prettier gets more positive attention. We trust attractive. We want to be around attractive. We want to be attractive.

Are they voting for the dude based on the fact that he's tall and good looking? I think that's a way oversimplification.

I think with sexual equality comes valuing women as something other than sex object, and with that comes treating women you find unattractive with just as much kindness and politeness as you would women you find attractive.