Yeah, helpless doesn't usually work for me. Although there was the time that I had a car issue that wasn't covered by insurance (accident, long story), but I wanted it fixed, so when I took it in, I wore a short skirt and a lowcut top, wandered around until I found the big black guy, and shoved my girls our there, batted my eyelashes and asked him to fix the door, which he did. Eh.

I am not entirely sure what my vibe is. Some people are terrified of me, some are startled I have teeth. I don't think it actually has much to do with me. I can no longer take it personally.

I do, however, know I wrinkle my nose and express uncertainty and people do random shit for me. Men people, and when I was younger, mother-shaped people.

I'm still trying to work out how that nets out at the mechanic's. I know we're supposed to be exploited terribly there, but I might just be dumb enough to fall for it. Because it sure sounds like they do free shit for me all the time.

Whatever. It's on me to sit down and learn more about cars. I'm not going to change how I dress one way or another.

wandered around until I found the big black guy

I am not even going to do anything other than nod.

There may have been some eyelash batting as well. But, it's not like he was actually looking at my face.

I've basically given up trying to control/exploit other peoples' perceptions of me, because most of the time I don't even grasp what they are until hours later ("oh, THAT'S why she/he was staring at me funny!"), and they seem to have more to do with that person than with me.

There may have been some eyelash batting as well. But, it's not like he was actually looking at my face.

It's good, if they're going to pretend, that you give them some other brief target of their attention.

I do know that if I need a little something done, I can go lean on the black guy's desk and get it done sooner, but on the flip side, I've just extended something, and he's likely going to feel reasonable to see how far he can pursue it.

What I love best is when it's tacitly understood that you're both being terribly superficial, and THAT'S IT. No need for future conversations, because that's not what the posturing was about.

I don't know. Talking about being able to take advantage of the way a guy decides to value the way a woman looks doesn't really strike me as a good thing. It's still them deciding whether a woman is worth treating well and they can take it away in a heartbeat if they decide they want more than flirting or if you, as a woman, refuse to play the boobs/pout/flirt game.

I don't blame anybody for doing what they gotta do, but I don't think it's good for anyone.

I don't blame anybody for doing what they gotta do, but I don't think it's good for anyone.

The dichotomy between social justice and a $50 parking ticket often falls to saving the money.

Anymore I seem to terrify people. Honestly I think it's just that I'll look them in the eye and force them to talk to me. Which, in this area, is terrifying for some people, to have a woman being direct and assertive. And I will confess that as the looks have gone, I'm happy to play up the "I'm old enough to be your mother, doofus" factor. I'm digging the onset of cronehood. Hubby works the good ol' boy/curmudgeon thing like nobody's business.

And men can get out of traffic tickets too. I was once stopped for speeding and asked "do you have any good reason why you wer going that fast?" My reply was "officer, I wish I could think of a good lie right now, but nothing comes to mind." The patrolman burst out laughing and let me off with a warning.

I'll look them in the eye and force them to talk to me.

When I work retail, I totally do that! And, I'm looking forward to doing that as a reference librarian. It's the best way to get the info I need to help them out the most.