it would be totally unnecessary if I were a guy

No, it would be totally different. They aren't the same arenas. How many guys can say "But officer, I didn't realise!" to a cop and get out of a speeding ticket? Thing was, I hadn't realised. I was just telling the truth. I also blink a lot, pout, and wrinkle my nose as a normal part of my daily facial interactions.

Sometimes it's going to make people think I'm dumb and nothing more than the sum of my physical parts. But it really hasn't turned out that way much. I'm more likely to get by with what I don't know, than be ignored when I do know something.

I'm not going to lie--I've railed and pounded against the glass ceiling before, and probably will again. There are all sorts of claims other people want to make to my body that they wouldn't if I were male.

But I feel flexible. I can dress in drag and go to work and nobody looks at me funny. I can play close to either end of the gender stereotypes, and I have. And it's been marvellous. I would not start to try that shit as a guy. Coming of age when feminism is gaining traction is simply awesome. It's easier to be a chick that beats people up than a guy that cries.

It's easier to be a chick that beats people up than a guy that cries.

Can't argue with you there!

Sometimes it's going to make people think I'm dumb and nothing more than the sum of my physical parts. But it really hasn't turned out that way much. I'm more likely to get by with what I don't know, than be ignored when I do know something.

Yep. And I don't know how much of my "playing the system" is based on beauty (My Self-Image Issues, the comeback tour!), but more of the "Oh, she's a harmless girl, no need to pay attention to what she's doing" game.

Given that being dropped by a casual kick to the groin is the only drawback I see to being a guy

First, let me be clear that I'm not arguing over which gender has more/worse drawbacks.

There are stereotypes for both genders. Men are expected to be Competent in lots of areas. Which is fine, if you have an interest in those areas. But it's a drawback if you're male and not interested in those things that men are Supposed To Be Good At. I mean, I barely know how to open the hood of a car, never mind fixing one.

Perhaps the biggest drawback that I see is the requirement to be stoic -- "big boys don't cry" or "be a man." But sometimes life hurts. And having to hold it in (except for, possibly, a carefully chosen four-letter word or two) isn't easy. (Good grief, even writing about it isn't easy -- I'm not sure I have the vocabulary to describe it.)

And don't be a Nice Guy, because the world will walk all over you. Be rough and tough. Drink beer until you puke. Make crude comments about anything and everything, because nothing is to be taken seriously. Except maybe sports and sex.

And if you don't meet That Standard, you're a freak. Not really A Man. Somehow suspect. Because if you're male, Being A Man is what it's all about.

I'm not going to argue that males have it worse -- for one thing, I don't have the gut-level experience of what it's like to be female. But it often feels like females in today's world have at least a little more room to be individuals. Or at least more a more diverse selection of same-gender role models.

"Oh, she's a harmless girl, no need to pay attention to what she's doing" game.

I do love that game. Gotten many a guy some pain because of it. Beauty, breasts, fluttering (I initially typed "sluttering", which is a whole different game that I do NOT play) eyelashes, or just XX chromosomes--sometimes being underestimated works to your advantage.

It's easier to be a chick that beats people up than a guy that cries.

Sigh. It took me almost half an hour to write what I just wrote. And ita says it just as well in 15 words.

I've never been good at exploiting my looks to get what I want. Maybe I don't try hard enough? At any rate, I've gotten much further in life based on creating the perception that I'm competent than the perception that I'm attractive.

It's easier to be a chick that beats people up than a guy that cries.

The thing with privilege, it doesn't just go one way. Which I think people (including me) often fail to acknowledge or remember all o the time.

I really enjoyed reading Norah VIncent's Self-Made Man. The upshot was that men and women get screwed by gender norms, big time.

And while there are a lot of times I really *want* to believe that women have it harder in the gender-norm-oppression olympics, I don't actually think we do. I think it sucks on both sides, equally. Not in the same ways, obviously, but still an equal amount of suckitude. t edit Or, what Cass said.

I don't think it's easier on guys.

But I see the feminist men in my life, and some of the feminist women, and I'm so proud and happy to have them in my life.