And I'm not interested in the whole tightlacing/waist reduction thing

I am! I've always had a belly, even when I was thin. If I knew how to do the whole tightlacing/waist reduction thing I totally would. Better than liposuction.

I actually still physically brace myself to get yelled at.

Tim has *never,* EVER yelled at me, called me stupid or other names, or otherwise engaged in that kind of behavior. Ever. And after 5 years (3 of them living together), I *still* expect to get excoriated for mistakes.

I say that *not* to blame my mom -- I'm almost 40, and I'm trying really hard to own my shit, and while she might be the source of that shit, it's up to me how to deal with it as an adult -- but just to marvel over how goddamned ingrained it is.

I'm nodding like crazy.

My glass. My floor. My adulthood. My choice.

Since then, when I break something, or have that 'just about to get hit' feeling, I say in a kind voice, "Oh Sweetie, it's okay."

I've done a lot of work--reading, counseling. All that plus being an actual parent taught me that children who were badly or inadequately parented have to learn to parent themselves. To repattern those bad patterns.

Cordelia was right, "Spank your inner moppet," or comfort, bolster, support her, help her or him become a functioning adult. And if at all possible, remove contempt for anyone from the equation. Justified, directed, purposeful anger is useful. Contempt is not.

Also, they made that cherry corset just for Steph.

Wow Bonny. I can totally see how you make a good life coach. (Not that I haven't seen examples before. But this is just such a distillation of your ability to handle stuff.)

Just popping in here to state how much I'm looking forward to flying home tomorrow.

I'll bet you are looking forward more to being home than flying home.

children who were badly or inadequately parented have to learn to parent themselves. To repattern those bad patterns.

Cordelia was right, "Spank your inner moppet," or comfort, bolster, support her, help her or him become a functioning adult. And if at all possible, remove contempt for anyone from the equation. Justified, directed, purposeful anger is useful. Contempt is not.

Beverly, you could totally do my job.

Wow Bonny. I can totally see how you make a good life coach. (Not that I haven't seen examples before. But this is just such a distillation of your ability to handle stuff.)

Thank you so much for the kind works, Typo. I feel pretty blessed.

I'll bet you are looking forward more to being home than flying home.

This is true. I get a whole week and a half at home before my next flight.

Dear Powers That Be, I have been really, really good in the face of some awful stuff. If you would make that cute pink & black corset Steph linked to magically appear in my mailbox, I would be very thankful. Pretty please?

All this talk of probiotics reminded me that I need to take mine today, so thank you!

Oh my god THEY HAVE A CHERRY CORSET

You really are obliged to get that.

Hey Calli, maybe we could work a deal on corsets. I'm sure I can find two...