Aims, I only have advice on issue #2. When I was Emeline's age I was awful at reading aloud in class, and it was totally related to me not wanting to be the center of attention or be embarrassed in front of the other students, so if Emeline is having embarrassment issues it could very well be related to that. I too could read aloud to my mother with no issues.

My ADHD looks like this: I get overwhelmed, I shut down and don't do anything. I think that Em does the same. And the more pressure she gets, the more she shuts down. I think Tep has talked about The Boy's ADHD looking like that as well? As adults, we can list and prioritize. At 6, I don't think it's terribly reasonable.

And I'm glad my response is coming off as reasonable. I'm trying to do what's best for Em but also come at this from the angle of being a future teacher.

You are not a crazy parent, or a normal parent. You are an exceptional, concerned, and caring parent.

You have to go with your gut feeling on this. I decided to keep Bobby back one year because he was the youngest in class and very immature. I took him out mid year and home schooled him, then put him back in the same class the next year. (1st grade) It was my decision and the school went along with my wishes. His teacher felt he could stay in the class and he would have passed, she also expressed some concern since he already was bigger than the rest of the kids, but ultimately agreed that he was immature and that I knew my child best.

Brendon and I have suffered each and every year with both boys over what was the right and best thing to do. Pure torture. But my one piece of advice is to trust your ability to make the best choice for your child. No one knows her like you and Joe.

The other teachers here will likely have better advice on the academic side of the picture. But you have the teacher view too, although of course biased, as it should be!

My ADHD looks like this: I get overwhelmed, I shut down and don't do anything.

Yup, mine too.

1) I love you all. You are awesome.

2) ~ma to them as needs it.

3) Also a member of the Morgan fanclub

4) had dinner with ex-boss, which was lovely

5) don't know if amyth posted in Natter, but she has the flu.

6) I'm done with B. Please wish me some strength to not throw myself at him when I am in his presence next month. He didn't do anything wrong... I'm just cutting myself off for my own good.

6.1) my therapist is the absolute fucking bomb fucking diggity dude.

7) Goddamn I am, as usual, exhausted. Going to bed shortly.

sj - I totally hear that and interestingly, so do a lot of schools, including ours, that do not do out loud reading in classrooms anymore. They are tested on their verbal reading one-on-one with teachers.

brenda - yeah. I totally get the age thing and I'm not worried too much about the stigma of her being retained. It would be the perfect time - next year all the kids move on to other schools for 2nd grade so it's not like she'd get crap from the other kids. And for those that would still be in this school, she'd be in a different classroom, so not too much issue there, either. Joe, OTOH, is having a harder time with the thought of retention than I am.

Aims, my niece had some of the same issues (started kindergarten at 4, attention issues that required meds). My sister-in-law worked with her both on her skill set, and handling things. Eventually, they saw that she needed to be held back a year just to level the playing field. She did fine until high school when she decided that she wanted to be off her meds. She couldn't make it in public school and it took an extra 8 months for her to get her GED attending on-line school without meds(but she did finish!). Now that she's 19, she's back on meds and is holding her own in her fist semester in college.

I know that with both Allie and Dave thru 4th grade, they had to take timed math skills tests - 50 problems in 5 minutes(man, I hated that... no one comes up to you on the street and says "quick what's 9 x 8") It stressed Allie out to the max. She couldn't pass the division one for the longest time, and she was a GATE student.

David spent his entire 3rd grade not speaking in class unless forced to because he was afraid of his teacher. There was no outward agression, they just didn't connect, and it took until mid-way thru 4th grade for him to come out of it. Then there was no shutting him up. The kid's a freshman now, and man he still talks non-stop.

So bottom line is... assess her skills critically. You may be doing her a favor in the long run holding her back if she's not groking math, but if it is just a teacher issue, you should be able to see it pretty quickly if you move classrooms.

sj - I totally hear that and interestingly, so do a lot of schools, including ours, that do not do out loud reading in classrooms anymore. They are tested on their verbal reading one-on-one with teachers.

Which still might be enough to make Em nervous, more nervous than she would be reading to you or Joe.

Switching classrooms is, I think, going to be my biggest barometer in where her skill level is. It's hard to gauge skill level if she won't do the stinkin work cause she's afraid of her teacher.

And it's interesting to use the word bullying. I dn't like to throw that word around because it should be taken very seriously and maybe it's to a fault on my part, because I read what I wrote and I would tell anyone else that their kid was being bullied by their teacher. Ms. N, in general, bullies kids. Specifically the lower performing kids or the kids who have parents she doesn't like. And it's not fair. And I feel like even though I see it, I'm not in a position or ina school where I can say anything about it. And it sucks.

I'm kind of with brenda on this. While I'm generally eye-rolly about holding kids from K for an extra year because they miss a cut off by a few weeks (both Emmett and Matilda are September kids, and in about four years Sept. 1 will be the California cutoff. But I'm glad I pushed them up).

Still, because of that issue I've studied up on it a lot and there's something to be said for being the oldest kid in your cohort, especially if you're dealing with ADHD stuff.

In Little League it's a given that kids that are born in May have a huge advantage over kids born in April. So don't let the Mama Bear get in the way of seeing what's best for Emeline. At this age there's no stigma about staying back a year, especially if she's the youngest. Later there will be.

I mean, she's never going to not be the youngest, so that might not be a gap she'll ever really make up. Whereas, she could gain a lot of confidence and social skills by being the oldest in her cohort.

This POV is just from my coaching years where I saw kids who would have been the best in their age group pushed up to a higher age group where they were only middle of the pack good. And I think there's a big boost of confidence that comes from being good in your cohort.