But after a weekend (since Thursday night) where he longest I was alone was one streetcar ride to and from lunch on Friday? The only thing I miss is my bed, not alone time.
OMG. I would totally need to crawl in a hole far far away from The People for a week after that. I'm not even sure I would make it through the whole weekend. I'm fairly sure I wouldn't.
Worrying that they are judging you every time you open your mouth--especially in a group--is a form of arrogance, I think. It makes the dynamic all about YOU and how YOU sound
It's narcissistic to think everyone is concerned about what YOU are doing all the time. That's for sure. But that's not being shy.
Me too, and my psychologist friend says that's what makes me an introvert, not how you act, but how you recharge.
Huh. Really? Because in no universe would I describe myself as an introvert. I just also need time to myself every now and then.
There's probably a continuum. I mean, 24 Hour Party People is only a movie.
Worrying that they are judging you every time you open your mouth--especially in a group--is a form of arrogance, I think. It makes the dynamic all about YOU and how YOU sound
Oooh, ouch. That hits a little too close to home. (And I don't mean that in a "How DARE Scrappy say that?!?" way; I mean it in a, "Huh, maybe I need to engage in a little self-reflection" way.)
I have a severe fear that people don't actually like me or want to be around me, so asking people if they want to do things with me is almost undoable. I'm also afraid that people who I don't know very well, and who I am hanging out with for the first few times I am convinced I am irritating them.
Hey, we're the same person today!
It comes from a very, "I'm sure they have stuff that's better/more important/more fun than going to dinner/seeing a movie/grabbing a drink with me."
Yep!
Huh. Really? Because in no universe would I describe myself as an introvert. I just also need time to myself every now and then.
I agree with you, but she went to school for a long time, so I let it go.
I agree with you, but she went to school for a long time, so I let it go.
I am so using this with my know-it-all friend who is often full of shit.
Worrying that they are judging you every time you open your mouth--especially in a group--is a form of arrogance, I think. It makes the dynamic all about YOU and how YOU sound
Eh, in my case, it's because I'm neurologically crap at cues, which means most of the data I've registered has been the negative reactions, which means I'm constently on guard worrying that I'm going to say something that is socially incorrect, because it is a CONSTANT battle figuring this out, so it's a survival reaction.
Doesn't make it a form of arrogance, but it is a strong contributing factor to my raging anxiety disorder.
Awww, my anxious Buffistas. I'd rather hang out with you than just about anything else.
Eh, in my case, it's because I'm neurologically crap at cues, which means most of the data I've registered has been the negative reactions, which means I'm constently on guard worrying that I'm going to say something that is socially incorrect, because it is a CONSTANT battle figuring this out, so it's a survival reaction.
THIS.
I try to control this kind of reaction, 'cause it irritates people, but it's a tricky one.
Edited to remove a random 'not'.
Elsewhere on the internets (OMG! I KNOW!) we were discussing this very thing the other day (because it's nerd conversaion #413, and yet still fascinating!) and someone had the best. metaphor. evar. for being socially adept and not-shy, yet still actually an introvert. It's like your shields in a video game -- you have a certain number of hit points you can take (or other humans or units of interaction or stresses or embarrassments or whatever) before your defense goes critical and you have to withdraw to repair/recharge/whatev. And the thing is, some people can have pretty badass shields and go in swinging and not really care, and even really truly *like* the interaction, but when they reach that point, gotta make repairs. And some people don't have a lot of defense at all, but they're good at picking their tactics and engagements and make it through. And... okay, I'm a big dork, am'n't I?
And... okay, I'm a big dork, am'n't I?
Yes. But you wield a mighty metaphor that I, for one, think is KICKASS.
