I agree with you, but she went to school for a long time, so I let it go.

I am so using this with my know-it-all friend who is often full of shit.

Worrying that they are judging you every time you open your mouth--especially in a group--is a form of arrogance, I think. It makes the dynamic all about YOU and how YOU sound

Eh, in my case, it's because I'm neurologically crap at cues, which means most of the data I've registered has been the negative reactions, which means I'm constently on guard worrying that I'm going to say something that is socially incorrect, because it is a CONSTANT battle figuring this out, so it's a survival reaction.

Doesn't make it a form of arrogance, but it is a strong contributing factor to my raging anxiety disorder.

Awww, my anxious Buffistas. I'd rather hang out with you than just about anything else.

Eh, in my case, it's because I'm neurologically crap at cues, which means most of the data I've registered has been the negative reactions, which means I'm constently on guard worrying that I'm going to say something that is socially incorrect, because it is a CONSTANT battle figuring this out, so it's a survival reaction.

THIS.

I try to control this kind of reaction, 'cause it irritates people, but it's a tricky one.

Edited to remove a random 'not'.

Elsewhere on the internets (OMG! I KNOW!) we were discussing this very thing the other day (because it's nerd conversaion #413, and yet still fascinating!) and someone had the best. metaphor. evar. for being socially adept and not-shy, yet still actually an introvert. It's like your shields in a video game -- you have a certain number of hit points you can take (or other humans or units of interaction or stresses or embarrassments or whatever) before your defense goes critical and you have to withdraw to repair/recharge/whatev. And the thing is, some people can have pretty badass shields and go in swinging and not really care, and even really truly *like* the interaction, but when they reach that point, gotta make repairs. And some people don't have a lot of defense at all, but they're good at picking their tactics and engagements and make it through. And... okay, I'm a big dork, am'n't I?

And... okay, I'm a big dork, am'n't I?

Yes. But you wield a mighty metaphor that I, for one, think is KICKASS.

That is a FANTASTIC metaphor. And very accurate.

I'm also afraid that people who I don't know very well, and who I am hanging out with for the first few times I am convinced I am irritating them.

Heh. I felt the exact same way when I met up with you in Dallas a few years ago. It took me most of that first night (and three or so drinks) to realize that you were actually enjoying my company. FTR, I never got anything other than a supremely confident "I-know-who-I-am-and-fuck-you-if-you-don't-like-it" vibe off of you.

I think I'm becoming more introverted as I get older. Once I get past the "Why would people want to hang out with ME?" stage, I love being around people. Now I find that I need more alone time to regain my equilibrium.

YES, amych! That's exactly how I look at it.

Oh, and if you're a dork, than so am I. And I'm good with that.

Congratulations, Kate and DH!

Dorks FTW!