My fever has finally gone down, which is a blessed relief as last night was an adventure I do not wish to repeat. Hope I'll be bored enough to read later - my PhD books are glaring at me in guilt-inducing manner.

erin, I have no particular advice on your sister, but your methods seem sound. I hope she gets the message.

Even when I am really trying, I can't seem to do things right.

Aww, sj. We all feel like that at some point. Sorry you`re there now.

Mom was here yesterday and accidentally set the alarm on my car, which I don't do because my alarm fob isn't currently working. So, this morning I couldn't get into my car unless I wanted to set off the alarm. Mom lives an hour away. I couldn't get to babysitting, and I didn't call early enough to let H know that I was having a problem because I was trying to figure out how to fix the problem. So H just gave me a major guilt trip, which really I was already giving myself enough guilt. And considering all I have done for her...

Not. Your. Fault. sj. Ease up on yourself, okay? It's a small thing and you shouldn't be getting guilt tripped over something that wasn't even your fault.

Thanks Barb. I'm really very depressed right now, and something like this just was too much this morning. I did offer to babysit for G here, but his mother didn't have enough time to get here before work. So now I am headed over to the SS office to change my name and tell them I no longer qualify for benefits, which is something I have been avoiding dealing with. Mom had to come here to fix the car issue anyway. So at least she is coming with me.

e-o, I just saw your dilemma and have only a little to add. A cousin was the freshman girl in a similar scenario, and for what it's worth, she came out of it okay. Didn't end up with the senior boyfriend on a long-term basis, and it didn't seem to cause long-term trauma.

Someone needs to point out to Josh that it isn't easy to get out of the middle of nowhere if you have to pay child support every month. (It might not stop him. but it may give him cause to do at least some thinking with the upstairs brain.) On the other hand, from what you're saying, it doesn't sound like you're in a position to advise Josh.

It sounds like you might want to start any conversation with your sister by saying upfront that you aren't trying to come between them (as in, you recognize that your approval or disapproval is beside the point). And, as others have said upthread, give her advice aimed at protecting her in her first relationship -- avoiding pregnancy and disease, easing hurt if he gets out of town and moves on from the relationship, etc.

Hang in there, sj. I wish I was closer so I could lend a hand, but there's lots of blinvisible support coming your way.

And in a separate post, congratulate me (said tongue firmly in cheek), I've just discovered my first illegal download of STARS. Three books in and I'm finally good enough to be considered to be pirated.

What I love, by which I mean hate with the heat of a thousand fiery suns, is how these fuckers try to make it seem like they're providing a public service.

Bastards.

Barb, you will appreciate this post.