Thanks Barb. I'm really very depressed right now, and something like this just was too much this morning. I did offer to babysit for G here, but his mother didn't have enough time to get here before work. So now I am headed over to the SS office to change my name and tell them I no longer qualify for benefits, which is something I have been avoiding dealing with. Mom had to come here to fix the car issue anyway. So at least she is coming with me.

e-o, I just saw your dilemma and have only a little to add. A cousin was the freshman girl in a similar scenario, and for what it's worth, she came out of it okay. Didn't end up with the senior boyfriend on a long-term basis, and it didn't seem to cause long-term trauma.

Someone needs to point out to Josh that it isn't easy to get out of the middle of nowhere if you have to pay child support every month. (It might not stop him. but it may give him cause to do at least some thinking with the upstairs brain.) On the other hand, from what you're saying, it doesn't sound like you're in a position to advise Josh.

It sounds like you might want to start any conversation with your sister by saying upfront that you aren't trying to come between them (as in, you recognize that your approval or disapproval is beside the point). And, as others have said upthread, give her advice aimed at protecting her in her first relationship -- avoiding pregnancy and disease, easing hurt if he gets out of town and moves on from the relationship, etc.

Hang in there, sj. I wish I was closer so I could lend a hand, but there's lots of blinvisible support coming your way.

And in a separate post, congratulate me (said tongue firmly in cheek), I've just discovered my first illegal download of STARS. Three books in and I'm finally good enough to be considered to be pirated.

What I love, by which I mean hate with the heat of a thousand fiery suns, is how these fuckers try to make it seem like they're providing a public service.

Bastards.

Barb, you will appreciate this post.

I think I read that before, P-C, but it's always a good refresher. Fave line:

If I were only in it for the money, I would be doing something else for a living, like selling my kidneys.

Seriously!

erin_o, as someone who has consistently chosen the inappropriate guy in life, I guess I sort of identify with your sister. When I was 16, my boyfriend was 22 and I was forbidden to spend time with him. We dated in secret for 2 years and then I married the next good boy I met because I felt guilty for having disappointed my parents so much. We got divorced three years later. The thing about my 22 year old boyfriend was that I never had PIV sex with him because I was afraid if getting pregnant. I know that is unusual, but my point is, I guess, that I think those around her need to give her a little space to make her own mistakes and give her access to what she needs to stay safe. And it sounds like that has happened.

(((sj))) I hope the rest of the day goes better!

((Barb)) I've seen a couple searches looking for torrents of my album but as far as I know no one has posted it yet. And every time I see those search terms, it pisses me off. We're not even talking profit - the costs of making my album aren't even paid off yet. And since I'm indie, it means I paid all of those costs myself.

Great link, P-C.

I spent most of yesterday trying to draft a pattern up at least 6 sizes. Since I actually know nothing technical about how to draft patterns, this consists of looking at the pattern piece for visual cues to angles and ratios and extrapolating from there. This is a very weak part of my brain. By 6pm I was braindead from the effort.

Today will consist of more of the same but first I have to bake some cupcakes. I'm going to a cupcake and champagne tweetup tonight. It will be a small get-together with actors, producers, composers, crew....and me.

Hang in there, sj. I wish I was closer so I could lend a hand, but there's lots of blinvisible support coming your way.

That's sweet. I really appreciate the blinvisible support from everyone and in general just having a safe place to rant.

So it took us about an hour walking the streets of downton Worcester to find the SS office (no signage and awful google directions), but I finally officially changed my name. It turns out I can re-apply for SSI benefits, which is a giant pain in the ass and I could still be turned down. It would be based on my earned income rather than on my father's, so even if I do get it, it will be for significantly less money.

Then after that very long morning Mom and I went out for much needed margaitas!

Empress, I meant to say in my last post. Yay, you!!!