Can't think abot deep death thoughts right now. Embroiled in job thoughts. Apparently my org is the kind of place where questioning the modus operandi can get you canned. It will not shock you to hear that I am not comfortable in such an environment and may not last long. So I called P again, and left a voicemail again. I really need to get on the stick and look for something else.

Since I've been a semi-responsible adult, my self-assigned job has been to lighten whatever burdens I can, to bring light of hope and reassurance into whatever darknesses I can reach, and above all, to avoid adding to the pain in the world, either carelessly or by intent, and if possible, to brighten someone's day with a joke, a smile, a compliment. There's enough pain, don't let my careless comment add to it. That's the plan. Not always perfectly executed.

This is beautiful.

Also, seekrit message for Beverly: Thank you SO much for the thoughtful email. I've been trying to find a quiet time to give the offerings their due and haven't managed it, what with the multitasking and the glaven, but I will.

You are awesome.

Spidra, I'm right there with you on the ex-pro thing in the Sing Off. Ironically, the Persuasions gentleman is the least engaging of any of the leads, but he's the most revered. I predict they will not last past the middle of the competition because their range is so limited.

My other peeve this year is the female 'boxer' on the Backbeats. She was the platinum fauxhawk with the Brigham Young group last year. I did not like her then. I do not like her now. I would much rather see some of the Beelzebubs back.

I'm with you about the learning stuff from Ben Folds...and Shaun, too. They are both so knowledgeable and appreciative. It's really upped my enjoyment of the genre.

A headline I came across somewhere yesterday said something about the 10 reasons Ben Folds should have his own show. I'd watch!

Well, shit.

Just got my first DNF review. To the reader's credit, however, she said if she hadn't been so seduced by the cover and the fact that it's a Latina heroine and had actually read the back cover blurb, she would have realized the book wasn't for her.

She said she was bored to death and that it didn't have enough action for her.

But on the upside, she didn't give a 1-star rating or anything like that. She acknowledged that the book simply wasn't for her. She didn't care for the romance or the love triangle and thought that the former developed too quickly.

S'okay.

A little distressing, but certainly not earth-shaking.

How did your event go, Barb?

It went pretty well, I guess. I mean, last time I did a solo signing at the Borders in Jacksonville, the manager "forgot" I was coming, then stuck me at a table by the front door and told me to shill. Which-- I don't do. And the last time I did a signing at an indie bookstore, it was at the one in Miami where they wouldn't put my books out on the front tables with the other authors who were coming to do readings and instead, hid them behind the front counter for "safekeeping" as the asst. manager put it. And then after I was done and had sold a nice number of books on top of that, he came up to me and said "Wow, I had no idea MTV published books or that they could even be any good."

So yeah, my expectations were both low and fearful going in, but I do love Third Place and they'd been advertising the reading with a placard right inside the front door for the last couple of weeks and then, when we walked in on Tuesday night, they had a huge stack of books and Abby was all, "Mom! Those are YOUR books! Lots of them!" It was the first time I've seen my kids genuinely stunned by what I do, so for that alone, it was worth it.

But the turnout was okay-- weather, plague, and traffic kept some folks away who might otherwise have made it, but still, it was about 25 or so in the audience, about half whom I knew, half whom I didn't.

In her first appearance at that same bookstore, Stephenie Meyer had three attendees and two were personal friends.

So, um, yay?

Bev, you say things that I agree with but you say them so much better.

Very unhappy Nicole Scherzinger is back as a judge, though.

I'm very unhappy she's back together with her boyfriend. The tv shows her bouncing in the pits and I don't care. But it's a minor thing for me to roll my eyes at and ignore.

I so want to ditch cable and the only thing truly holding me back is racing. And I truly don't know how long I will be able to justify it mentally.

I mean, I don't mind paying for the tv I watch. I think I should unless advertisers are paying for the tv I watch and for my attention. I don't ahem unless it's something I am going to legit buy or watch (hi, Sherlock!) when I can.

I had a very productive evening! Since 5:00 I have:

Made Em dinner
Allowed Em to watch 1 Strawberry Shortcake cartoon, 2 Veggie Tales movies, and an episode of Diego
Snuggled most of that time with her on the couch she chose
Had my Christmas presents taken away for being mean and hateful
Had 2 Berenstein Bears books thrown at me
Been banned from Em's school for being mean and hateful
and lost all future snuggling and kissing priveleges!!

I'm waiting until she starts taking arguing lessons from Glenn Beck so that I can be called a Nazi.

Hey! Glenn Beck is 6!! I just figured it out!

Just don't buy her a chalkboard.

The two kids I went to meet today are adorable and just the sweetest things! I'm babysitting for the littler one on Monday for a couple of hours while her brother is at school and her mother goes Christmas shopping.