Okay, this is starting to hit a little too close to home. I'm getting scared.

Wow, next review I totally need the buffistas to speak it for me. Damn. OR just maximize my resume.

Anyone wanna write some generic thank you notes for me? "Thanks for having me in to reinterview for the job I had two years ago that you laid me off from. If I didn't seem crazy enthusiastic it's because I'm still skeptical about the company's long term survival, and you still have some of the AWFUL people I didn't like working there, and I'd have to work with them. On the other hand, my direct boss would be someone I'd like, and I"m hoping you'd pay me more, and I'd travel less than I do in my current job. So, please offer me this job for lots of money and I'll probably take it!"

Anyone, anyone?

Great, bring your findings to scrum, and we can reprioritize the deliverables waterfall.

OMG what?? I'm totally saying that at my next meeting.

God bless the internet - I've been thinking about this line from Bellwether all day:

1.Optimize potential. 2.Facilitate empowerment 3. Implement visioning 4.Strategize priorities 5. Augment core structures.

We should make sure we're doing this in an agile fashion, shouldn't we?

Have we made sure there are no blocking issues for localization?

Okay, this is starting to hit a little too close to home. I'm getting scared.

One of the best things about the team I'm working with right now is that I don't have to go to meetings where that sort of dialogue is happening. Nope, I just get to edit documents. It's kind of blissful.

Great, bring your findings to scrum, and we can reprioritize the deliverables waterfall.

That could come straight out of one my meetings and, worse, I'd understand it.

That could come straight out of one my meetings and, worse, I'd understand it.

It did come out of a meeting I attended, from a few teams ago. It was all I could do at the time not to burst out laughing.

Okay, this is starting to hit a little too close to home. I'm getting scared.

Why do you think I was screaming?

3. Implement visioning

Only if it's heat visioning.

I appreciate the chance to reconnect with you you miserable prats and to update you on the new skills and connections I have made in the last two years since you upset the fucking applecart and fucked my life up, buttmunch.

I am glad to see that X company has been able to diversify and is now considering opening up to new opportunities to advance its position in the marketplace although if you'd fired Beavis Buttlicker and Barbara Backstabber in, say 2008, maybe I wouldn't have to be reinterviewing.

I feel that I am the perfect fit for this position since I HAD it before. I would enjoy working again with X since she is about the only person there who can tell her ass from her elbow .

I would be happy to speak with you further regarding my qualifications you owe me, bitches! and would be pleased to discuss appropriate ranges of compensation I won't even roll out of bed for less than $10K more than I made when you laid me off; you OWE me, bitches.

Best, I hope skunks invade your bedroom, and your sex parts develop an itchy rash

Meara

Have we made sure there are no blocking issues for localization?

I'm more concerned with knowledge silos impacting the crosscutting operationalization of appropriate paradigms.

Hmmmm. I think I excised that sentence from a document earlier this week.