I don't think there's anything weird about finding someone fascinating on first meeting, in whatever category.

You clickers are weird. I prefer to be curious. Early in a relationship I'm just letting it flow and being conscious of gates and hurdles. I've only ever had the immediate click maybe three times out of the women I've been with. Sometimes you have to let somebody get comfortable with you before they reveal their true selves.

This is me. Well, I mean to say, it's both been my experience that I need more time with the person to see if there's a connection AND I'm aware that I'm far too awkward and guarded to even allow enough of myself out, so to speak, for there to be a click at a first meeting.

Which is why, I suppose, almost all of my relationships grew out of friendship first. And the "click," such as it was, was more of a moment when I looked up and went, "Hmmmm..."

Or made like a hussy and kissed the boy first.

But yeah. I'm massively awkward upon first (and second, and third) meetings. A lot of the time I feel like I'm imitating proper human behavior rather than actually doing what I'm doing because it feels right to me.

t edit

I don't think there's anything weird about finding someone fascinating on first meeting, in whatever category.

It's weird *to me,* because it doesn't happen that way for me. I know it happens to lots of people, and that's cool for them. If that makes sense. Weird to me, not *for* others.

Jesse, don't make me get on twitter to ask Owen to tell you to go to sleep.

Owen is our oh-so-adorable boogyman. I love it!

Restore Joss Whedon: [link]

Steph, have you ever met anyone and found them initially fascinating?

Steph, have you ever met anyone and found them initially fascinating?

Yes, but what I mean about not "clicking" is that *I* found then fascinating, but there wasn't a click *with me.* I guess the way I'm thinking of it is that the "click" happens *between* the two people, that it's more than just one person thinking the other is fascinating/hot/charming/whatever. And I never have the initial click *between* myself and someone else. It's like I'm a smooth Lego that can't fit with another Lego.

I guess for it to be a proper click both people have to do it. And I've definitely had that. But it's not how I wander about interacting with new people, or anything...it never occurs to anyone to date me, after all, not people I can get through an entire conversation with without being bored.

And I don't remember what I could talk or I could bang feels like. Usually one of those urges subsumes the other.

There is a guy I have been e-mailing with because we seem to have some things in common and it could be worth learning more. But his last message slammed Buffy and included a comment about how he isn't really into any professional sports. Even so, he would be willing to go to a Rockies game with me if I wished.

I'm not expecting to find someone who had exact likes/dislikes. There is always room to learn something new or get a new perspective. Unfortunately, right now, he has two strikes. One more and he is OUT.

This trying to date thing is HARD. I want a Yenta to find my match. Or some well meaning friends. Best yet, would be a 40-ish, single guy joins the dojo and discovers my wonderfulness.

One more and he is OUT.

Don't do that! Be more curious. You don't have to have all your interests aligned. In fact, it's often more interesting to date somebody who has a different set of references and interests.

There's a reason there's a curse that says "May you live in interesting times."