And the ketamine was disappointing.
Damn.
Tell me more good stuff about me.
Kaylee ,'The Message'
Natter 65: Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, pandas, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Cass - May 05, 2010 1:22:15 pm PDT #27533 of 30001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Sheryl - May 05, 2010 1:40:01 pm PDT #27534 of 30001
Fandom means never having to say "But where would I wear that?"
Timelies all!
Congrats Jesse!
Cashmere - May 05, 2010 1:40:25 pm PDT #27535 of 30001
Now tagless for your comfort.
Sorry, ita. I was hoping it was going to work for you.
We're eating some cheese to stave off hunger until I can gather the will to cook dinner.
Barb - May 05, 2010 1:45:31 pm PDT #27536 of 30001
“Not dead yet!”
Hivemind, more editing suggestion help?
Original passage:
With a quiet "Ciao," he touched his fingertips to his forehead in this salute move that was totally off the charts. But something about the expression in his eyes—the same one that brought to mind laughter—made me think he was completely aware just how cheesy the move was. And as he turned and jogged towards his field, I sat there fighting back giggles as I got my first clear look at the tat on his shoulder.
The Tasmanian Devil in a swirling tornado.
Taz, indeed. What a dork. Charming, but definitely a dork.
Copyeditor's suggestion:
With a quiet "Ciao," he touched his fingertips to his forehead in this salute move that was totally off the charts. But something about the expression in his eyes—the same one that brought to mind laughter—made me think he was completely aware just how cheesy the move was. And as he turned and jogged towards his field, I got my first clear look at the tat on his shoulder.
The Tasmanian Devil in a swirling tornado.
I fought back giggles. Taz, indeed. What a dork. Charming, but definitely a dork.
A possible proposed alternative from me:
With a quiet "Ciao," he touched his fingertips to his forehead in this salute move that was totally off the charts. But something about the expression in his eyes—the same one that brought to mind laughter—made me think he was completely aware just how cheesy the move was. And as he turned and jogged towards his field, I got my first clear look at the tat on his shoulder.
The Tasmanian Devil in a swirling tornado.
I laughed, loud enough that Taz turned, jogging backwards for a few steps with a goofy grin on his face, like he knew exactly what I was laughing at and was happy to share the joke. Taz, indeed. What a dork. Charming, but definitely a dork.
Calli - May 05, 2010 1:51:53 pm PDT #27537 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
I'm sorry, ita.
Ginger - May 05, 2010 1:56:16 pm PDT #27538 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Oh, ita. I keep hoping for a magic bullet.
I like the original best, Barb. It's the Tasmanian Devil. Of course she laughed.
Amy - May 05, 2010 2:04:15 pm PDT #27539 of 30001
Because books.
It comes down to which you like best, Barb. You're the author. Change it back if you don't like her edit.
-t - May 05, 2010 2:06:16 pm PDT #27540 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
I like the proposed alternative, fwtw.
Hil R. - May 05, 2010 2:06:37 pm PDT #27541 of 30001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
I'm sorry, ita.
ION, I usually like hearing about athletes who are vegan, because it gives me people to list when people tell me that I can't get enough protein and my muscles with all wither. (I finally convinced my dad that veganism could be healthy when I pointed out several vegan baseball players.) I'm not so sure how I feel about Mike Tyson becoming vegan, though. [link]
Barb - May 05, 2010 2:07:25 pm PDT #27542 of 30001
“Not dead yet!”
You're right, you're right, I know you're right, but I just want to make it as good as possible, you know?
And no, I have no idea why this copyedit is making me so crazy. I wonder if it's not because I already did so many revisions, that it's the little stuff that's really standing out and making me nuts.