I wish I could unread today's Lifebooker email. Since I can't, I will share it with you:
Some things just go together. Peanut butter and jelly. Zac Efron and hair products. Your vagina and Swarovski crystals.
Wesley: Perhaps the whole point of this experiment is hair. Gunn: I vote he's not in charge.
'The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco'
Natter 65: Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, pandas, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Jessica - Apr 09, 2010 4:33:48 am PDT #21945 of 30001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
tommyrot - Apr 09, 2010 4:40:02 am PDT #21946 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
A large portion of these, if not all of them, are the results of the Style Invitational contest from week 310 (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit990314.htm). This is a humor contest, which asked participants to come up with the bad analogies
I wish they'd say which ones were from the humor contest, but whatever - they're still funny.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
eta:
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Jessica - Apr 09, 2010 4:43:49 am PDT #21947 of 30001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
This one's almost a direct life from Douglas Adams. (The Vogon ships hung in the sky in exactly the way that bricks don't.)
Jessica - Apr 09, 2010 4:44:38 am PDT #21948 of 30001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
Real Animals + Toy Animals = DED FROM CUTE
tommyrot - Apr 09, 2010 4:46:03 am PDT #21949 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
This one's almost a direct life from Douglas Adams.
I thought that sounded familiar....
Gudanov - Apr 09, 2010 4:46:26 am PDT #21950 of 30001
Coding and Sleeping
This one's almost a direct life from Douglas Adams.
My first thought. He's ruined all those kind of analogies the way humorless prose doesn't.
tommyrot - Apr 09, 2010 4:59:56 am PDT #21951 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
A photo of a small child, apparently after attempting to put on lipstick: You Got A Problem?
Jesse - Apr 09, 2010 4:59:59 am PDT #21952 of 30001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Good luck, Kat.
Aw, aminals.
Gudanov - Apr 09, 2010 5:05:07 am PDT #21953 of 30001
Coding and Sleeping
tommyrot - Apr 09, 2010 5:06:19 am PDT #21954 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Coolest data center ever.
All it needs is a "security guard" who's very big and tall and has a diamond in his tooth....