More meara:

OK. Here's a random question: Anyone ever have a near-death experience? Like an accident, a near accident, or perhaps a medical condition where death was likely? If so, did it change your outlook on life? Did it make you glad to be alive, want to embrace life and all that?

Here's one: I had a DVT and a pulmonary embolism after a "minor" elective surgery a few years ago. Admitted to hospital and not allowed to leave the bed for *anything* for five days. I had called the EMTs myself because I knew something was wrong, just couldn't describe it (claimed "trouble breathing"; that'll get you to the ER stat). The Doctor later showed me the scary PET scan of my lungs and solemnly informed me that if I hadn't gotten myself to the ER, I would very likely have died that night. I was perfectly calm in the hospital, though afterwards the nightly panic attacks went on for months. But I remember lying in the hospital bed, bored, thinking "I could be dead. Never mind the bucket list of amazing things I want to do in life. Even if I spend the rest of my life doing nothing more exciting than watching reruns of Buffy, I want every damn second of it." What I got from that experience - besides a standing refill of Valium - was the feeling that life is wonderful, even when it's ordinary. I don't have to be doing memoir-worthy things to have a life worth living.

No serious car accidents. *knocks wood* There have been more than a few near-misses with vehicular injury, but it's always been me in the defensive position. I am extremely paranoid about accidents and other people doing stupid things. I tend to view every situation with an eye to the worst thing that could possibly happen. And then there was one time when I was a teenager that I deliberately rode my bike *right in front of an oncoming car*. I knew it was potentially fatal even as I speeded up to do it. And I pedeled away from the incident laughing. Weird. I don't know why I did it.

Oh, yeah, and there was the time I woke up at 2am going 70 mph on the interstate between Knoxville and Nashville, headed right for the flimsy guard rail, beyond which was a gazillion-foot sheer drop off a mountain. If you want to believe in guardian angels, there's a little piece of evidence for you.

I had the whole bright light/ out of body thing going on. It was unpleasant.

Did you see your body lying there? Do you think it was a real experience or a hallucination? I've always wanted to have one of those, just so I could form an opinion and further elucidate my reality.

I think maybe I don't actually know what "elucidate" means.

I did pass out when the anesthesiologist cranked the epidural back up before my C-section, and Stephen tells me the doctors were all "Whoops" about it.

Oh, no. No doctors going "whoops" around me, please. Anesthesia scares me. Actually, since the above NDE, I've been scared of everything to do with surgeries of any kind.

Anesthesia works really oddly on me though, and although I have only had one surgical experience (wisdom teeth) I was actually aware and frozen during it.

Speaking of being scared of surgery, Aaiighh. I'm not so sure that's "working oddly" so much as "anesthesiologist screwing up".

Yet more meara. Bwahaha!

Re: house repairs: I took out insurance that covers all the working "parts" of the house, from plumbing to electrical, including appliances, with discounted prices on replacement. $42/month and whenever something breaks, I just call the number, 24/7/365, and an actual qualified technician comes swiftly to fix it. What's the biggest fear of home ownership? "What if something happens that I can't pay for?" It's a huge weight off my mind. My sister said it was unnecessary, but she has a fat savings account and I don't. I think it was a good idea.

So, oatmeal. Eat it, y'all.

OK, I'm eating oatmeal RIGHT NOW and it's ... sorta OK, so, how much, and is Quaker Instant good enough? Because my LDL/triglycerides need to come down a few points.

And while I go to the gym, it's only 3-4 times a week

hahahaha. I wish I could get myself there twice a week.

the L-word

I once got into a 2-year relationship with a girl I was casually dating, because I casually told her I loved her - she'd driven me to the hospital, and I was still believing that she was a really good person, and I meant that I loved her but not that I LOVED loved her, you know, I was trying to say something like "I love you for doing this for me" but before I could say anything to further clarify, which I was about to, her face lit up like Christmas and angels sang and bluebirds appeared and tied ribbons in her hair and she exclaimed "oh I love you too I can't believe you said it first!" and well. 2-year relationship. With what turned out to be a crazy person. I am MUCH more careful about saying the L-word now.

Tresabel Pitcher

That is a wonderful name! She must have been a fascinating person. There should be more Tresabels in the world. And yes, she should have a book.

I haven't seen Iron Man OR Sherlock Holmes.

Did you know some IV meds taste on injection?

Noted. I'm probably gonna use that in a novel sometime.

ION, my hair keeps getting awesomer. It's now about 5 inches of deep copper red, with jet black tips. Looks good curly, looks better straight.

The Cutting Edge 3 people are skating to "She's Like the Wind"!

They just did it again -- Cutting Edge 4 has the same female lead as Cutting Edge 3, and despite Cutting Edge 3 ending with, "The answer is yes. I'll skate with you. Always," in Cutting Edge 4, she's single romantically and isn't skating with anyone.

That's so bizarre.

ION, I am not having pie for dinner after all. Partly because I forgot, but mostly because when I woke up this morning (way too early) I realized I had been dreaming that I was making seared scallops for breakfast. So I had to go to Whole Foods and get some and now I'm having seared scallops with grapefruit sauce and some garlickly broccoli rabe.

I have a home warrantee. It's ~$450/year and what I call a co-pay for each visit, but that's all I pay, regardless of what is involved. I've used it for a couple goofy things where idiots-guide-to-plumbing left me frustrated (like, I couldn't figure out my stupid toilet. ) Called when I made it rain in the livingroom and learned I have no overflow pipe in my tub. Had I wanted them to, they would have installed one, but that would wind up tearing up the floor, which I'm saving for when I redo all the plumbing up there (I really like my floor and intend to preserve it.) And used them again to winter-ready my radiator and learned all sorts of fascinating things. Frankly, I can bleed them myself, but emptying the reserve air tank? Adjusting the pressure? Yeah, next time that needs doing, I am calling them again. And now I know to check that shit.

I'll probably keep it for a few years until my savings recovers some.

I think the water in the basement is coming up through the concrete. Interesting. Long term fix is to drill a hole and put in a sump. But it only really happens when we get saturation like this. I'll live.

Hey, they actually varied the plot a little this time! Drunken obnoxious speed skater was banned from speed skating for punching a teammate, and now he's begging depressed heartbroken figure skater (who was happy fulfilled in love figure skater in the last movie) to skate with him, because he can't stand being out of the spotlight so he figures he'll try figure skating.

Oof. It's been a busy day.

I made it to Target, and have come to the conclusion that the Liberty stuff is not for me. The only adult clothes I saw that had fabric I would have worn were in cuts I didn't like. The rest was just too busy and not me. I didn't look at the sheets or accessories though, and there were some really cute kids clothes. I almost bought a skirt for Amy's Sara, but they didn't have it in her size.

(et finish the thought) Then I went down to San Jose to see G&J--they say Hi, ita and Kat, then stopped at work and managed to do in two hours something I've been trying to find time to do for six or eight months.

Then I went to TJs, and got lots of bad for me stuff.

I totally helped my mother by buying her Caramel Delights off her -- she's on Weight Watchers, and I haven't managed to get any of my own yet!

You're such a good samaritan, Jesse!

I need to stop grocery shopping for a bit, or at least make a strict list. After the Snowpocalypsegeddons, the larders were bare and I think it made me a little nuts. I'm way overstocked now. I normally have enough for the week and maybe a few days. But with the storms? Yeah, that wasn't so good. But I don't think I'm going to find myself unable to do my regular trips to the store for three weeks any time soon again. And I probably have enough dinner food for over a month now. Which is goofy.