Suela, Burrell's offer goes for me, too, if I can help in any way.

Aww, thanks guys. We've hired a home care aide, and my sister & I are tag-teaming on checking in with them, as they're living independently about 20 minutes away. But it's been hard to get them to accept the aide, for a variety of issues. They're really clinging to their independence. (Yes, we tried to get them into assisted living, but they wouldn't go for it.)

I try not to talk about it in public too much, because, well.

I try not to talk about it in public too much, because, well.

Consuela, please tell me if I'm out of line, but... because of what?

Because you need to take care of your elderly mom? Can't see how this is something to hide. You didn't reject her, nor put her in a home away from everything and everyone to be visited twice a year.

You're taking care of you mother, for God's sake. You're not a serial killer (unless you are, and then I hope I never got you angry). You did the good, appropriate, hard and I-can't-even-imagine-how-much-challenging thing.

If anything... if you'll choose to tell people around you about it, I can only hope and understand if they'll be supportive about all of this. If not, they need a clue stick.

IMHO - it takes a village, both as a child and as an elder.

{{}}

You're good, you. Don't let our society's crappy sort-of new ideas about how the body and its aging is something to be embarrassed about to let you done. If anything, you're an example.

On balance, 2009 was good for me. It brought me a new job that I like and the opportunity to move to a new city (Baltimore) that I anticipate loving and that is closer to what I consider my One True Home, the DC Metro area. Plus, bonus lisah and sarameg, which is no small bonus.

My family are all doing well, and my mother is settled in with my sister and her family up in PA, much to the benefit of all involved, so that's a huge win. One nephew has a fabulous new wife, and one has a fabulous new daughter. All good.

It's looking like 2010 might have some very different and exciting adventures in store for me, so I'm cautiously anticipating what lies ahead. I'm feeling optimistic and engaged in a way I haven't in a while, so I'm planning to put 2009 in the win column on my personal ledger come 12/31. (No, I don't have an actual ledger, although...)

Consuela, please tell me if I'm out of line, but... because of what?

I should clarify: I don't talk about it online much, outside of flock.

It's a family thing, and I don't really want to spray my drama everywhere. People are supportive, but it's exhausting and draining to deal with it on a daily basis, and nothing's going to change for the better any time soon. So I don't see much benefit in talking about it in public much.

Also, I am pseudonymous and I like to stay that way. If (god forbid) any of my family were to find my LJ or B.org, I don't want them to find me sharing family drama with the universe.

I understand, Consuela. Good luck.

It's a family thing, and I don't really want to spray my drama everywhere.

(sends hugs) I didn't know you had that problem too. Know that I am jealous, because you are allowed to help. I am still working on that part.

2009 was pretty good: I still live inside and eat food every day.

2009 was pretty bad: I'm thinking about cancelling my subscription to the SF Chronicle for cost. I'm already a rent refugee, why should I prop up their newspaper with my money so the people who like the online edition get all the good stuff?

A quick Secret Santa question. Do the Santas de-secret themselves when they send the gift (i.e., sign a card or the return address)? I haven't participated before, so I'm not familiar with the etiquette.

I think you can do it either way.

I have received Secret Santa packages that have had names attached and that haven't. Usually the haven't are ones where I can fairly easily figure out who it is from.