Because I got some sad news late this afternoon, I've had several beers, I don't (yet?) blog, and I delurked in the Great Delerking of Aught Nine, I'm going to post my 2009 wrap-up here.

The past year had some bad and some very good. The bad has to do with the fact that I haven't worked steady in a year and a half, and, while I've applied for numerous jobs, I've yet to get so much as an interview. So my income level, which wasn't great, is even worse, and the whole situation is very stressfull. Added to the fact that I still have a fraction of a job left, and there is someone there who has far less seniority than me, is doing all the tasks I used to do. But I'm not a sycophantic whore. And I hate that I spend so much energy on a job that sucks.

The good has been very good for me. I ran for a federal office in a special election last year, and have gotten back involved politically with the party I'm registered (which is socialist). I've met some great people while doing that, and renewed old relationships. There's so much going on, and so much that needs to be done, and I think I've found a productive group of folks with which to work. It's a different sort of political work than I'm used to, but that's ok. I'm making another run for higher office this year, in a different district, so I hope to be able to do a lot of work around that.

My brother's health continues to be ok. He almost died a few years ago, and it continues to be a concern.

I decided to go back to college and, I hope, at some point to get my BA. The first step begins this month when I start back at community college to finish up my AA (four units to go!) So I hope this time next year, I'll have that.

While I haven't had a date in so long, I'm not sure what one is, there is a fellow I'm interested in. It's good to know I can still become interested in someone.

I turned 50 in September, and had a very nice bar-b-que with my brother, not!sister-in-law, and some close friends. I know so many people who didn't make it to 50, including my mother, that I have no problem with my age. It was a great day; I can't ask for more than that.

The beginning of 2010 is on notice. This afternoon, I got word that a comrade I've known for over 20 years passed away early this morning. I saw him a week ago, and he was talking about a book he'd gotten and was going to read. Let me just say, fuck cancer. This is the second person to pass in less than three months; both were great guys. We need more great guys, not less.

I appreciate having this venue to reflect and vent.

I try to remain hopefull that 2010 will be better than the last couple of years, for us all.

Oh Fern, condolences. I hope you always feel like this is a safe space to vent. Here`s hoping for a good 2010 for you.

I have not posted my year end musings, but I will add to the FUCK CANCER chorus.

I'll always add my voice to that chorus, too. I'm sorry for the loss of your friends, Fern.

I'm so very sorry, Fern.

{{Fern}} I'm so sorry.

Fern, I'm very sorry. I am, however, glad that you felt moved to come and share with us. That's what we are here for.

Remember when I said this?

I think 2009 and I may have some unfinished business that won't get resolved until early 2010. We shall see.

Yeah. I finished that business, with a lot of help from my friends. As Bitches already know, I broke up with KBD. It ended a 1.5 year relationship in which I tried to break up with him twice in person, at least once over the phone, and once via email. And that's not counting the time where we actually broke up and then got back together.

I am somewhat aghast at what I put up with and the lengths I had to go to in order to assert myself, but I've certainly learned a lot about myself and improved how I deal with conflict. I've still got a long way to go, for sure, but I know a lot more now.

I've also got several changes that I'll be making to my Match profile, thankyouverymuch.

I want to say that all the marvelous relationships I have witnessed via Buffistas give me hope and something I can aspire to. Thank you for continually reminding me what a partnership can be.

Thank you, all, for the kind words. Mostly I feel bad for his widow, who is also a great person.

{{smonster}} It sucks to end a relationship, but sometimes, not as much as not ending it. Strength to you.

EEEEEEE. I just got a package from Chapel Hill, so I promptly dropped all that boring work stuff to open it, and now I am surrounded by COOL THINGS. I got a really cool card with polar bears on it, a bag of lavender oatmeal herbal bath tea that smells divine, a giant match which has already been added to my office toys, postit notes that say "Now don't make me hand you your ass...", a chocolate filled candy cane, a cat toy, the I Miss Buffy: Megan Gogerty's Awesome Tribute Album CD Moravian Chocolate Dipped Spice Cookies, an awesome refrigerator magnet that I love even more than most people would because it looks exactly like the old Spanish tile on the staircase in the house I grew up in, peanuts I can use to ship camera stuff to Sue, and a book of pithy Holiday proclamations.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, SMONSTER!!! I LOVE IT ALL.