I just read over my LJ, and 2009 maybe wasn't as bad as I thought, but I'm still ready to say good-bye to it.

There were good things -- I went to Vegas, and Seattle, all thanks to wonderful friends here whom I got to spend F2F time with. I scored a freelance gig that paid the bills pretty well. We eked every pleasure out of the summer with the kids. Sara learned to ride her bike and to read, and Ben got taller than me and started junior high, which he loves. Jake finally passed his GED and has started thinking about what he's doing next.

But we were still here, where none of us want to be. So I decided to go back to school, figuring it would at least take us somewhere else, and maybe then the rest would fall into place. No idea if that was where the tide turned, but the next thing I knew, S. was interviewing for a job in Maryland, and then I sold the young adult book (plus another to come).

So 2010 is going to be one big change in almost every way, but it's going to be good stuff -- I'll be in school wherever will accept me, possibly in MD if this job for S. does come through, and I'll be writing, which is pretty much a dream come true. And the kids will be in better schools and in a home without a gloomy old man (sorry, FiL, but it's completely true).

My biggest gift is feeling hopeful again.

I know I've already posted here, but I just have a few thoughts I want to clarify, for myself, if no one else.

2009 was a year of many, many changes, some very good, some not so great. It has been a HUGE HUGE life turning point, I believe.

In February, I had a hysterectomy with both ovaries removed and said goodbye, pretty peacefully, to the prospect of being a mother. Also to a lot of physical and psychological pain attached to my medical issues.

In March, I said hi to a skinny art nerd on the internet and we went on a date. I moved out of the apartment I've lived in for 8 years, into his house in the burbs in October, and just spent 2 weeks being the primary caregiver to an active 7 year old boy.

I got fired from a stressful job I didn't like very much on October 1st, and have had no salary or health insurance since then. That's been stressful. But I've been there before, and it's a lot easier not being alone while it's happening.

I've been hired for two jobs -- substitute high school teacher and on-line English professor -- neither of which are full-time or have started yet. And the "wife" and "stepmother" are words that are on my and my boyfriend's mental and verbal radar.

It's been hella weird and stressful, but also really good in some ways. Very transitiony, and I still have a lot of thinking and pondering and changing. I am ready for 2009 to be over, because it's been very painful in a lot of ways.

2010, hi. I think I'm ready for new, good stuff.

I'm not sure what to say about 2009. I went to an amazing 5-day belly dance intensive workshop taught by one if my favorite dancers. Not too long afterwards, I decided to take a hiatus from belly dance which may prove permanent. I think the workshop brought me face-to-face with what it would take to move beyond this plateau, and I am not realistically going to put in that effort, nor am I really interested in doing so. Since dance has been a main social and physical outlet for over six years, I am a little sad but at peace with the decision.

Nothing has replaced dance as a hobby yet, but I'm enjoying being lazy for now. I do need to start some kind of exercise, though, for mental, physical, and pain prevention reasons.

My grandma died recently. She'd had Alzheimer's for many years, so her death has been a sad relief.

Other than that, 2009 has been status quo. Nothing new on the job front. No idea what I want to do next. I did start DBT therapy, which is pretty awesome.

I think 2009 and I may have some unfinished business that won't get resolved until early 2010. We shall see.

I'm in the same place in my life as I was at the beginning of 2009, but in a new place geographically. I moved to Boston to be closer to my family, which was definitely a good move. My father's Alzheimer's isn't getting any better, and it's good to have more time with him now.

As for the rest of it, I'm still working as a consultant for my old job in NYC, but that ends soon, so I'll need a new job in 2010. Still single, and am (as ever) trying to work on that, too. And now I need to build a circle of friends here, but am off to a good start with that. I do love my apartment and neighborhood, and hanging out with you people.

Overall, 2009 was fine (Fine in '09!), but I'm looking forward to positive changes in 2010.

2009 had some of the highest highs and lowest lows of my life. On the downside, my dad died. I'd been pretty much taking care of him since he'd been diagnosed with lymphoma a year earlier. He was the parent I was closest to, and I miss him every day.

On the upside, I took a trip to Greece that I'd been planning for over two years and dreaming about since I was 10. It was a wonderful experience, and I hope to go back again in another couple of years. I also got to visit San Francisco, where I met some delightful Bay-istas and reconnected with some distant relatives.

I've been at my current job for three years now, and, in spite of some website redesign insanity, I still love it. I have a great bunch of local friends, and my relationship with my sister seems to be getting stronger, now that we don't rely on communicating via parents. (There's an 8-year age gap that we've had to bridge, along with big differences in politics, lifestyle, and religion). So while 2009 delivered one hell of a kick upside the head, on the whole I feel like I'm in a good place to look forward to 2010.

2009 has been a disappointment to so many of my dearest, it feels like gloating to say it's been the best year I remember in a very long time.

We bought a house of our own and moved across the continent--from NC where both of us have lived for decades, to WA. It required leaving family and friends behind, and that was a wrench. But it's been so good for us. We look at each other and grin--it feels like we've run away from home and a load of responsibility we've carried for a long time. It feels like we've gotten away with something. There's an air of honeymoon about it, too. H said recently, "It feels like I'm on vacation. But I don't have to go 'back' at the end of the week. This is home!" We love our little house in the Ewok forest.

We were out running errands the other day, and there was the bay on our left and a ridge of snowy mountains on our right, and I looked at H and smiled so hard my face ached. "We LIVE here!"

"Yeah, we do."

2009 was a good year for us, after a long run of lackluster to purely bad ones. I'm a little sorry to see it go, but I'm looking forward to what 2010 will bring.

2009 has been fairly good for me. The one big blow was when, in late October, my boss had to ask us to take a 20% pay cut (and hour cut), because the company is struggling pretty badly.

In an excellently timed move, I paid off my last credit card at the beginning of October, and I was finally debt-free for the first time in my adult life (basically 20 years, egad). So that's made the salary cut much easier to cope with.

We took a lazy vacation in August to visit my bro in Vermont, which was excellent. I had a mini-reunion with my college roommates in Cleveland in May, which was great. My 20-year high school reunion was this year, which was surreal.

My mom got fired in June, but got a new job in November, so all is well there. My dad's health is holding steady, though he has some pain issues with diabetic neuropathy, so I hope he can get those straightened out in 2010.

Finally, I am utterly, disgustingly happy with The Boy. The beginning of December marked our 2-year shack-up-iversary. I would dearly love to remodel the house (or move, but that isn't financially feasible), but the man I share it with makes me happy in a way I didn't think I would ever experience. Coming home to him is my favorite part of the day. He is my utter, utter joy.

Kate, I think I've neglected to actually type my congratulations, though I've been beaming and thinking it. So, best wishes and congratulations to both of you! Proposal Toast is a wonderful thing--carrot cake is wedding cake at our house ("Come on, honey bunny. I'll make you a Carrot cake.").

Drew and Kristin, it's been wonderful reading about your wedding preparations. I haven't chimed in, but I've been reading and nodding and smiling and wishing you both so much happiness. I'd love to see the fabulous invitation--is it up on the wedding website, and can somebody link me?

Awww, I'm so happy for you Bev.

Thank you, David. Other plus? We're this much closer to actually visiting west coast Buffistas!