But like you said, David, quilt families (I like that term) are Le Weird.
It's especially tough being the step-parent. And I do think you're engaging with the issue in a self-honest and thoughtful way. I guess what I'm really suggesting is just a matter of strategy. Which is don't let the situation or circumstances put you into a limited/negative role of The New Wife, but rather set your own terms on how the patchwork pieces will fit together.
Her request is a little odd, but while the rules and roles are still fairly mutable it doesn't hurt to be more expansive than necessary. Unless you think that would create a bad precedent, or set bad boundaries or false expectations.
Dear Wednesday,
So far, you are completely blowing goats. If a do-over is not possible, can we at least trying improving the rest of the day?
kthnxbai
Suddenly I want in. I've done housebuilding in Mexico, but that mostly just involved camping in a quarry at night.
C'mon, girl! What else have you got to do March 13th - 20th? And you don't have to volunteer the whole week, as many or as few days as you like. (event is from 3/9 - 3/20, the dates I give are when I will be there)
D didn't mention it last night, but I ended up taking a long nap (I think I'm fighting off a wee cold) so that's not surprising. I'm fairly confident that he will be rolling his eyes.
I need to finish updating my music stuff and finish this cup of coffee so I can get to office cleaning. And the bathroom, and some laundry. Yay, laundry. My fave.
Her request is a little odd, but while the rules and roles are still fairly mutable it doesn't hurt to be more expansive than necessary. Unless you think that would create a bad precedent, or set bad boundaries or false expectations.
Hmm. This, I think. She's used to being the one for whom the compromises are made -- some fairly serious ones, like leaving the house abruptly and expecting D to break his lease and take it over when she moved to MN, moving twice to farther and farther locations, enrolling M. in a swank private school neither she nor D can afford -- these are patterns that have been allowed by D. It's not all her fault, of that I am perfectly aware. there are two people in amrelationship, and while these are his patterns to break or to set new boundaries for her, it's my responsibility to myself and to D. as a partner to set boundaries as far as what I am comfortable with early in the game. I will have to make compromises too -- after all, with all these variables, I'm going to have to go a little farther sometimes, but compromise is NOT compliance all the time with another person's desires.
I suppose I'm viewing it as classroom management, which may seem weird, but it's actually pretty logical. If you set your boundaries as the term begins, it's a lot easier for everyone to deal with clearly delineated expectations throughout, than if you're all sweet and easy at first (so that your student will like you) and THEN you break out some boundaries. I'm looking for respect and a working relationship, not friendship.
C'mon, girl! What else have you got to do March 13th - 20th? And you don't have to volunteer the whole week, as many or as few days as you like. (event is from 3/9 - 3/20, the dates I give are when I will be there)
Yeah! No wait. I can't get to NOLA in a car in 45 minutes like I can Tijuana and Tecate, probably, huh? And my Mom has the month bookended with cataract surgeries. I guess you'll just have to drink something fruity where you can't taste the alcohol for me, darnit. Seriously, hope you guys have an amazing experience.
I'll be there the 14-18, Epic!
I guess you'll just have to drink something fruity where you can't taste the alcohol for me, darnit.
Nora, that's on you. I can't mix fruit and alcohol, alas. But I'll raise a bourbon drink for you!
I will have ONE Hurricane from Lafitte's Blacksmith shop, because in NOLA, I am a Sazerac Girl in a Sazerac World.
Wait, though, do Pimm's Cups count?
