Dinner Review: Success! With an overcreaming of the potatoes I added (in a bit of a Hail Mary) some pre-cooked hash brown patties on the theory that (a) they could catch up on the hour of cooking and (b) they'd soak up liquid. Instincts scores 1! It worked exactly as expected. Left it in until the Parmesan browned. It was almost like raclette at that point.

Oh, it was super rich and satisfying on a cold, rainy December night.

I had mine with two hot Italian sausages and a liberal dipping of Dijon mustard. Strong, spicy, tangy flavors to go with the creamy, cheesy spuds. A good pairing. Chased it with a green salad with a balsamic dressing. Fiber plus acidic equals just right.

I'm about three quarters of the way through Breaking Dawn. I think I may be in a permanent state of "WTF???"

I know! I read it a year ago...still WTF-ffy. We ate cashew chicken and egg rolls tonight.

Yeah, that never goes away.

Hmmm. I under-potatoed my scalloped potatoes. It is now a particularly rich and cheesy potato soup. This could still be a win...

Glad you saved it, but yowza does the under-potatoed, generously scalloped potatoes sound amazing.

my brother in law never married his son's mother and they split when he was 3. They, too, worked out a 50/50 split. He put A LOT of work into it--including keeping his job prospects well within the area, and bending over backwards in giving his ex their house (he paid for it, she didn't work) and the better vehicle. He paid her more than an official custody arrangement would have required for support payments and carried all insurance and medical costs. I think the generous financial arrangements helped smooth the way but my nephew is nearly 7 and is EXTREMELY well adjusted, having spent more than half his life shuttling between households.

Where I lived changed over the years, as did the amount of time I lived with each parent, but the fact that both my parents loved me and never took out any anger on each other in ways that could affect me is something I am entirely grateful to have grown up knowing. That is still priceless to me.

My heart breaks when parents take out their issues on their kids. (Hi, just got back from Christmas and I am glad I know a lot of amazing parents because seeing the bad ones is awful and I need a mental cleanser.)

Glad you saved it, but yowza does the under-potatoed, generously scalloped potatoes sound amazing.

Right? Baked soup can be good. Uh, so uhm, make this recipe with less potatoes and more milk and you'll be good.

but the fact that both my parents loved me and never took out any anger on each other in ways that could affect me is something I am entirely grateful to have grown up knowing. That is still priceless to me.

That is the trick. People compliment EM and I for having such a good working relationship, but I am always quick to say that it required a lot of work. That it wasn't an accident of easy good will but an effortful prioritizing of Emmett's well being.

Not to claim credit for us, but to say that it requires putting aside your ego and loving your child more than your righteous anger.

Though it does seem that both you and JZ have managed to be friends with EM, not just put anger aside but actually forgiven and become friends. I'm sure it took a lot of work, but it is something not everyone could have done regardless of how hard they worked. It says something about both you and JZ as people.

Not to claim credit for us, but to say that it requires putting aside your ego and loving your child more than your righteous anger.

The fact that so many prefer to put the anger first says something about those who put their child(ren) first.

The fact that so many prefer to put the anger first says something about those who put their child(ren) first.

So much this.

One of my clients has chosen to deal with custody issues as a 'business-like teamwork' situation. The child is all that matters. This seems infinitely more practical and sustainable than putting the anger first.

Nobody thinks they're putting anger first. If you presented the choice to them like that they'd all deny it. But it's hard to let go of the feeling of being wronged.

As the wise amych once taught me, any time you act (react?) out of a wounded sense of ego it's likely the wrong impulse. The trick is to catch yourself in that moment. Not easy in the flush of feeling.

ION, Big Ass Thunder Storm in SF. Which is unusual here.