No, more often than not, before I got married, when I first started having sex with someone was also when I was about to stop having sex with them. (Why yes, I was a 'ho).

I literally first learned about it in Catholic school.

My mother gave me the birds and the bees talk (except it was totally clinical and had no euphemism or happy nerve endings) when I was seven and my sister was four. Never mentioned it again. I was good, and went on to do my own extensive research at that point, plus I managed to get the speeches in every one of my subsequent schools.

My sister? *Never* got the speech in school, and totally forgot what my mother had told us when she was wee.

Ten years ago, my mother asked me what Tantric sex was.

Mother! I've known since I was ten! Because of the book IN YOUR LIBRARY.

I totally don't understand her.

But I explained it as best I could.

"pulling a train."

Oh. Dear. God.

Mother, no!

To give context, she was talking about how the freak-ass church would get all freaky about dating (like, don't date someone unless you intend to marry them), and we were talking about someone who was given the cold shoulder by the FAC because she dated who she wanted, instead of a church-picked, church-approved guy (and I am not even joking).

Mom said, "The way they treated her, you'd think she was pulling a train or something!"

[long pause while I tried to figure out if she really just said what I thought she said]

"Did...did you just say 'pulling a train'?"

"Yep."

"You need to stop working at that high school RIGHT NOW."

He found the OTHER sheet of paper with the combinations on it.

Go Joe!

I told my mom what a spank bank is. (talk about "Scoring at home, even if you're alone.") We watched "Rescue Me" together one night.

Heh. That's where I learned the English term from.

Sometimes I think there are way more slang terms to sex stuff in English than in Hebrew. And then I remember that most guys I'm hanging out with respect and fear me too much to mention the terms to begin with. And oh, LOLZ, once they get to know me better... I remembered now, few months back, one of my closest university guy-friends was asking me, sheepishly, in order to punchline a joke he started telling me, if I know what jizz (in English) means. I then decided to tell him about the month I spent indexing porn at my job as an information manager in a search engine, 60-80 sites per day (two weeks out of it were strictly BDSM).

I just look so innocent, y'know. But a part of me prefers the situation as is. First, I have the element of surprise. Second, so much of sex slang in Hebrew is humiliating to women, I'd rather not know.

Humm. Maybe I should have started the sex toys discussion when some people in my sociology class first learned about radical feminists who are opposing penetration due to patriarchy. I really had to bit my tongue there not to say anything there, but since I started the Catharine MacKinnon and How She's Not Andrea Dworkin thing a minute earlier, I prefer to shut up. But all I had in my head then was "OMG, and how come Bitched aren't here to hear about this?".

He found the OTHER sheet of paper with the combinations on it.

Man. I wish I had my own version of a Miracleman. I am dancing the dance of shame over completely forgetting the login password for a computer I didn't think I would use again but yeah, you guessed it, I could really use now.

Did I write it down in my ever so efficient filing system? Of course not! Why would I do something useful like that?

That's where I learned the English term from.

You need to watch Coupling.

You need to watch Coupling.

Which version of it? I watched some of the British, and it was good.

Yes the British (original) version. The american one is bad.

Which version of it? I watched some of the British, and it was good.

Despite the part where my best friend stars in the American version, NOT THAT ONE. The British. But it's where, I think I learnt the term.

Or maybe I'm conflating Lesbian Spank Inferno with way too much.