I get hormonal and think I want one, but mostly I think I'm not cut out for it. Which is okay, I guess, since I'm 36 and as far from that as it's possible to imagine without *actually* being the crazy lady who screams at passing cars from her box on the vacant lot. But there is part of me that hates to let the opportunity go. That's not something to do to have an experience, though, and my mother was like Chris Rock's mom about it. "You know, I've raised my children."(plus, lucky me, being the caretaking gift that keeps on giving.)

So, parents, how did you decide whether or not to have a 2nd child?

Well, after Emmett I was pretty sure I just wanted one. But I had to work my brain around child #2 if I wanted to be with Jacqueline.

One thing that made it easier for me was seeing that it does get quite a bit easier as they get older. I mean, it's not like you're relieved from duty but you do start getting to sleep through the night and the expenses go down considerably when they're between daycare and college.

I'll even give you a specific date: it got much easier with Emmett after he was 4 and a half. (aka, dawn of reason)

And in our case at least, siblinghood has turned out to be a huge success.

~ma for amyth's brother and Callaluna

Sorry if I got chocolate in your peanut butter. There were a lot of posts backed up in both Natter and Bitches so I'm not sure if I responded in the proper place...

On the one hand, kidlet to make into a person! On the other travel, nightlife, relative freedom! On the one hand passing down tradition, love, trying to put a force for good out there. On the other insurance, medical costs, the world as it is today.

This is where I am. Except for the part where I am married and getting to make the decision with someone else.

((((Trudy and family))))

Glam, I'm probably the last person on this board qualified to advise when someone should or shouldn't have one child, never mind two or more. But I do want to wish you the best, whatever you decide.

wrod, Spidra. Good luck with your shit, too. I feel you on it, but I'm still in the "Smartassed pawn" pupal phase so I've no advice.I do understand. The other day on facebook, the local ad was a "List of Things To Do In Phoenix Before You Die"...the only thing I could think of was "Get out." Seriously.

Much health~ma to your brother, amyth.

you have a great guy, steph.

glad you are getting settled, Hil.

glam , i have no personal experience with kids , but I can share a friend of mine's reasons for having only one. C take parenting very seriously. her son is pretty easy -- just 14. Her life is Not center around her child . For her it is an energy level. she can be a very good parent to one, but she just might not be as good to two. She is a very rational , relaxed human. With one child she has time to paint , read, and do things she enjoys. It is n't that she couldn't do these things, but with a second there would be less time. And her son is not spoiled.

THE HORROR! THE HORROR! [link]

Well shit.

My mother is hitting her mid-summer sulk and is up at my parent's cabin with no phone, all by herself and not checking in with anyone. She told my sister that she doesn't feel like she has a purpose in her life and that her granddaughters aren't going to be as close to her as we were to my grandparents because she doesn't live as close.

I'm having a hard time for two reasons. One - this happens damn near every summer, at exactly the same time, and has been for years. She throws off her system because she spends the summer drinking and partying and her meds get thrown off and she sinks and sinks and sinks and it sucks for her and everyone around her. Because Two - she KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING. She says so! "Oh - it's my summer depression. Just like my mom used to get."

She wants my dad to tell her to not go up north alone, but if he does, she gets pissed that he "won't let her go anywhere" which is so completely eye-rolly, it's not even funny. My dad refuses to play Poor Pitiful Mom which makes her mad and so they aren't communicating in any way, shape, or form which makes them both sad because they are pretty much co-dependent on each other in a very cute way.

So the debate is currently who goes up and gets her, me or my sister? On one hand - she's closer to Jess and always has been and Jess has a new baby to bait her with. On the other - I would get yelled at later on for making my sister go get her after Jess just had a baby and also because I am not as compassionate with our mother cause I'm tired of the bs games she plays and then claims noone understands her mental illness. I understand it just fine, but at some point in time she needs to take some fucking personal responsibility for making sure she is as healthy as she can be and she doesn't and it makes everyone else's life a living hell.

And of course, the fact that it happens almost every year, at the same exact time which is MY BIRTHDAY, it makes me more than a little cranky.

Vent vent emotional vomit vent and bitch.

Goddamn parents pain in the ass to raise.