Happy Birthday, Empress!!!

I meant to say last night that Matilda is so adorable! But I was a little tipsy, as you may have noticed.

meara, I'm sorry.

Happy Birthday, Empress!

I don't know how much of the saga of Maggie's Not Eating I shared here, so here's the summary.

She wasn't eating. The vet felt around, felt a mass, did an ultrasound, said it could be one of a few things, let's try antibiotics and see if it helps. She's only 3 or 4, so let's try that, and if it doesn't, we'll do exploratory surgery.

It helped a lot, and then about a week later she went back to not eating. So, we got more antibiotics last week, see if it was a recurrence. She's been throwing those up pretty consistently and still not eating.

So, I took her in today, and the mass is much bigger, and she looks a little jaundiced, and, yeah, he could do the surgery, but even if he was able to take the probable-lymphoma out, it's not a long-term cure, just a time-buyer, and not much time, at that. She's still herself, and doesn't seem to be in a lot of pain. She's also still drinking water. So, we'll probably wait until she starts showing signs of distress and then take her in and say goodbye.

Fuck cancer, you know?

Totally fuck cancer. I am so sorry, Debet.

And thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes! I wish I had a sparkly hat.

Aw, damn it, I just need to vent. This is such a fucked-up day. I'm working until 3 and then going right to the funeral home for the visitation. My IBS has returned with a vengeance (I haven't eaten gluten, so I'm assuming it's stress).

And -- while I understand the good intentions behind it, the logistics make it impossible for me to deal with -- the Facebook-style kinky social media site we belong to has a system to send mail, like Facebook does. And like Facebook, if you reply to a message, you have to go through the site itself.

Well, someone just messaged me asking for the details for the visitation tonight, and I CANNOT reply to them from work. Not to that Web site. No fucking way.

I don't know her e-mail, because we're not e-mailing buddies, and I don't have her cell phone number.

Like I said, I understand that the person's intentions are nothing but the best, but I can't get her the info, and I don't have the time to e-mail all of our friends to find out if anyone knows how to get in touch with her.

I texted Tim to tell him, because he *might* have her number. But he's ALSO at work, and shouldn't have to stop what he's doing to deal with this. Grrr.

Cereal:

Debet, I was typing while you were posting. Fuck cancer, indeed.

Oh debet. I am sorry.

I'm sorry, Teppy. It is perfectly understandable that you can't respond to email at work. You can only do what you can do. Be kind to yourself during this time.

Aims needs a sparkly hat.

Fred Pete! I saw a Nilly post that we missed your birthday. I hope it was a good one filled with treats and happiness.

I'm sorry, Teppy. It is perfectly understandable that you can't respond to email at work. You can only do what you can do.

I know. I'm just trying so hard to handle as much of the fiddly administrative/secretarial stuff -- like answering e-mails that want to know the details for the visitation -- as I can so that Tim doesn't have to deal with it. And when I can't, it's annoying.

Plus, it just hit me as I was talking to a co-worker that the visitation tonight is the first time I'm going to see Tim's mom in almost a week. I hate visitations, because the body in the coffin is not them. It doesn't ever look like them.

And since I didn't see her after she died (I made it to the house after the funeral home people got there), I'm just not prepared to see her today. I mean, I guess no one is. But I think I'm going to lose it. Which also pisses me off, because I want to be able to comfort Tim and his family, not need comforting myself.

Damn it.