Uhhh...that trick never works. Especially within the stress zone of Just Changed Our Life Completely.

Not arguing with that! Mine is more a function of running out and not having a doctor yet. Tom's reasoning is that he doesn't like playing around with his brain and he doesn't think that the doctors know even wtf they are even doing.

He started phasing out BEFORE we moved, I tapered down in an effort to make my supply last as long as I could. I'm just lazy and overwhelmed and it makes me want to die before thinking about going through another intake.

But Tom went to a pretty good doctor last week who seems like she'd be amenable to continue prescribing stuff we had back in MA without a fuss.

I'll go in. Sometime this week or next. Getting the cats into the vet on Tuesday though!

cereal:

Oh, Steph. I'm so sorry- what a horribly sad and uncertain existence for everyone. I have you and Tim and Tim's mom in my thoughts.

Glad the dogs gave you a break tonight.

Oh, Steph. I'm so sorry- what a horribly sad and uncertain existence for everyone. I have you and Tim and Tim's mom in my thoughts.

Thank you, so much. I know I haven't been able to reply to every single post everyone has made with their thoughts and prayers, but I've read them, and it means SO SO SO MUCH to me.

It is sad -- Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!" But it's still a really loving experience, if that doesn't sound too weird.

Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!"

Yeah, this just made me cry. 'Cause that's what it comes down to, and it's so fucking hard. No matter how or why it goes down.

Unrelatedly (or maybe relatedly, I don't even know), I'm really craving beef. Specifically, stir-fry beef, or something very similar, texture- and cut-wise.

Obviously, since I live with a vegetarian, there is no beef in the house. I disapprove of this.

It is sad -- Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!" But it's still a really loving experience, if that doesn't sound too weird.

No, it's not weird. We're not always lucky enough to be with our loved ones when they die. It is a gift, a rare space to be with somebody and let them know they are loved. It clarifies thing. It's like this mighty white flame that burns away all the bullshit. This is what is important. Our finite lives and the love we give.

I'm really craving beef.

You don't have a Steak-On-A-Stick franchise that delivers?

It is sad -- Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!" But it's still a really loving experience, if that doesn't sound too weird.

I loved that I got to spend time with my mom's family during his last illness. He died surrounded by all his children and so many of his grandchildren. It was a loving and peaceful way to go. I hope for half as much when I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!"

Yeah, this just made me cry. 'Cause that's what it comes down to, and it's so fucking hard. No matter how or why it goes down.

I know, right? We can say all the right things, and they are true -- she lived with and fought COPD for over 25 years, so the fact that she made it this long is incredible; she had a rich, fulfilling life and a loving husband and family; at least she won't be sick anymore; and even (for those who believe) she's with the Lord/in a better place.

All of that is true. But it doesn't change the fact that it sucks BALLS for everyone left behind. *We* don't get her anymore, and that is fucking WRONG.

(I am perhaps not the best at accepting things.)

That doesn't sound weird. It's wonderful that you can all be there for her, and each other. And it was kind of you to say the rosary.

{{Nora}}