Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!"

Yeah, this just made me cry. 'Cause that's what it comes down to, and it's so fucking hard. No matter how or why it goes down.

Unrelatedly (or maybe relatedly, I don't even know), I'm really craving beef. Specifically, stir-fry beef, or something very similar, texture- and cut-wise.

Obviously, since I live with a vegetarian, there is no beef in the house. I disapprove of this.

It is sad -- Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!" But it's still a really loving experience, if that doesn't sound too weird.

No, it's not weird. We're not always lucky enough to be with our loved ones when they die. It is a gift, a rare space to be with somebody and let them know they are loved. It clarifies thing. It's like this mighty white flame that burns away all the bullshit. This is what is important. Our finite lives and the love we give.

I'm really craving beef.

You don't have a Steak-On-A-Stick franchise that delivers?

It is sad -- Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!" But it's still a really loving experience, if that doesn't sound too weird.

I loved that I got to spend time with my mom's family during his last illness. He died surrounded by all his children and so many of his grandchildren. It was a loving and peaceful way to go. I hope for half as much when I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Tim just broke my heart tonight when he said "I'm going to miss her SO much!"

Yeah, this just made me cry. 'Cause that's what it comes down to, and it's so fucking hard. No matter how or why it goes down.

I know, right? We can say all the right things, and they are true -- she lived with and fought COPD for over 25 years, so the fact that she made it this long is incredible; she had a rich, fulfilling life and a loving husband and family; at least she won't be sick anymore; and even (for those who believe) she's with the Lord/in a better place.

All of that is true. But it doesn't change the fact that it sucks BALLS for everyone left behind. *We* don't get her anymore, and that is fucking WRONG.

(I am perhaps not the best at accepting things.)

That doesn't sound weird. It's wonderful that you can all be there for her, and each other. And it was kind of you to say the rosary.

{{Nora}}

Boffistas

Best typo!

I realize I'm biased, but he is amazing. They all are, really.

As are you. You are being amazing through this too, Tep.

Steph, it doesn't sound weird at all. I had a blast visiting my aunt and yet the occasion was her dying, It comes in all shapes. My night's gutbust was hearing what my uncle said to my mom when she said she knew it was hurting him immeasurably: "that's what love is." From a macho, taciturn dude. Yeah, that's what is it.

Hang in there.

{{{Teppy}}}

And you never have to reply to all the messages -- just know that we've all got you and T and his mom in our hearts.