Teppy, that has happened to me once or twice with invites, and TCG and I have been together 5 years. I usually assume they don't know his last name and are too lazy to call and find out.

Well, she took the trouble to e-mail to make sure she had my correct address to send the invitation to, so she could have asked what his last name is.

Grrrr.

maybe she had people helping her address stuff?

Printed on computer labels.

I usually assume they don't know his last name and are too lazy to call and find out.

Kinda gotta wonder if it is this one. I mean, that is a strange one to choose even if they are picking and choosing from Emily Post...

Well, she took the trouble to e-mail to make sure she had my correct address to send the invitation to, so she could have asked what his last name is.

Oh.

Yeah, grrr. I see nothing but acceptable grrr.

Yeah, I usually think of "and Guest" as "take a friend along so that you'll at least know somebody there and have someone to dance with." If there's someone specific that you know the person will be coming with, then address to that person, too.

That is grrrr I get all grrrr because I am 37 years old, and people still invite me (with no and guest) on my mom's invite. She apparently gets no "and guest" either!

I would put "and Guest" with anyone dating/living together, not because I want to devalue their relationship but to add choice for the friend and not assume. They are giving you agency. The important thing is that YOU be there, and you can bring anyone you want, like your mom or George Clooney. Also, the wedding is a ways away and (God forbid) you should break up between now and then. So this way, you are covered and you can bring whoever you damn well please.

But the invitation is all funky paper and casual wording and in no way formal. So I'm not really going to buy the excuse that it was addressed to "and Guest" because they were following what Emily Post says.

according to Miss Manners, the "and guest" bit is the incorrect part, the idea being that if you don't know the guest well enough to know his/her last name, then you shouldn't be inviting them to your wedding.

I can't imagine why she would do that, unless it was for the reason Scrappy said. OTOH, if they live at the same address, I'd assume that's who you are bringing.

I was talking to a friend whose cousin invited him to his wedding, and gave him a guest (he lives with his boyfriend). He hates this cousin, the cousin lived in DC for a year and a half and never called. However, his sister, who the cousin likes, got invited to the wedding and didn't get a guest. So, the plan is for the sister to decline, him to accept with guest, he won't go, and the sister shows up in his place. @@

Plus what Scrappy said.

The important thing is that YOU be there, and you can bring anyone you want, like your mom or George Clooney.

Not to devalue The Boy who I totally dig without ever having met him, but bring George Clooney. He'd be an awesome wedding date.

So, the plan is for the sister to decline, him to accept with guest, he won't go, and the sister shows up in his place

Er, what? Does the sister have someone she wanted to bring and can't? Otherwise, just...don't go?

I'd probably have been all "OMG I don't know The Boy's last name!...Facebook to the rescue" or somesuch. But I also don't know that I would've cared that much about "and Guest", or necessarily done anything, since I'd just have assumed you knew and I knew that you were bringing him. ...one more reason I am not yet getting married. Along with the whole "i have no Guest". :)