I make eye contact with someone when I first meet them, because that was drilled into me as a kid. It still doesn't feel natural, but it's just part of the shake hands, say "Nice to meet you" ritual.
I just took the Scion zipcar to Trader Joe's. I like driving it. It's not perfect, but it's definitely comfortable. I can reach the pedals without having to get right up against the steering wheel, and I was able to get in and out of the really annoying Zipcar parking spot without too much trouble, so that means that I can see in all the directions I need to see. (To get the car out of this spot, you need to back up a steep uphill ramp, with another car right where it would be logical to go, so you end up having to go diagonally backwards uphill.)
Happy Birthday, vw! Wishing you cake! With sparklers!
sj, I was relieved that TCG took it as well as he did. I was so happy to finally meet you guys I couldn't help myself.
My son is still being a bum. I alternate between wanting to throw him out in the cold and lock the doors and wanting to try and communicate with him. Mostly I am ignoring him. Blah.
I don't blame you. Yeah, it takes a bit to get your shit together sometimes, but if he's not doing something to get the GED, get a job, find a place, doing SOMETHING...I see setting a time limit.
You're not an old-world Italian mama. He doesn't get to stay rent-free and ambition-free.
I like to make fleeting eye contact to acknowledge existance when walking or I might say hi. Oddly, I make a special effort to look in the eyes of the homeless or people soliciting money or people who look "odd". I figure they feel invisible a lot so even if I am saying no to them about spare change, I want them to know I see them as a peer.
I'm Scrappyish in this regard.
(Would that I could say that more often...)
From way back: I don't think having a service heart and wanting some appreciation or at least to know you're doing some good are mutually exclusive. That's a pretty human motivation. Ideally and theoretically, service for its own sake, yes; practically, I will always enjoy a thank you.
I do enjoy the service for it's own sake, and a thank you is nice...when heart-felt...but more than either, I think I focus too much sometimes on actual change occurring. I'm going to chalk that up to a childish(hood) need to remedy all the efforts that did not succeed.
This is why I love working with dogs. The change really is instantaneous.
I like the intellectual challenge, the soul enriching 'aha' moments and the knowledge that I'm making the world a better place by fostering happier people, but the results in that arena can be longer in coming. (though not much sometimes!)
But with dogs? Porkchop was a jumper, and 10 minutes later, he is no longer. Gotta love that. Seeing tears in the eyes of the people, when they learn the simple little behavior change that makes FiFi less anxious? Priceless!
So yeah, I love me some service!
Oddly, I make a special effort to look in the eyes of the homeless or people soliciting money or people who look "odd". I figure they feel invisible a lot so even if I am saying no to them about spare change, I want them to know I see them as a peer.
I could be more like Scrappy.
I have good relationships with several of the homeless fellows in my neighborhood. No relationship at all with another.
When walking, I endeavor to smile at, and greet everyone I pass. By 'greet' I mean murmuring, 'morning/afternoon/evening.' I don't always even include the 'good.'
If it is obviously a tourist, which is fairly common on my street, they get the friendly eye contact. People I know to nod at, get eye contact and a smile. If I get a bad vibe as someone approaches, I'll shuffle by.
The thing I don't understand, though I've heard completely rational explanations here regarding personal space, both physical and psychic...is when people seem actively angry that they've been addressed by a stranger. As if that really is taking something away from them.
It certainly isn't meant as an assault when I murmur a word acknowledging someone's humanity. But I've been addressed, on occasion, as if it were. (Seriously, my greetings are the lowest of keys. Boisterous greeters bother me too.)
Civility, I know, is practically a dirty word anymore, but I feel compelled to hold the line. There is enough isolation without making the streets even meaner.
