Happy birthday, vw!
Buffy ,'Empty Places'
Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj, I was relieved that TCG took it as well as he did. I was so happy to finally meet you guys I couldn't help myself.
My son is still being a bum. I alternate between wanting to throw him out in the cold and lock the doors and wanting to try and communicate with him. Mostly I am ignoring him. Blah.
I don't blame you. Yeah, it takes a bit to get your shit together sometimes, but if he's not doing something to get the GED, get a job, find a place, doing SOMETHING...I see setting a time limit.
You're not an old-world Italian mama. He doesn't get to stay rent-free and ambition-free.
I like to make fleeting eye contact to acknowledge existance when walking or I might say hi. Oddly, I make a special effort to look in the eyes of the homeless or people soliciting money or people who look "odd". I figure they feel invisible a lot so even if I am saying no to them about spare change, I want them to know I see them as a peer.
I'm Scrappyish in this regard.
(Would that I could say that more often...)
From way back: I don't think having a service heart and wanting some appreciation or at least to know you're doing some good are mutually exclusive. That's a pretty human motivation. Ideally and theoretically, service for its own sake, yes; practically, I will always enjoy a thank you.
I do enjoy the service for it's own sake, and a thank you is nice...when heart-felt...but more than either, I think I focus too much sometimes on actual change occurring. I'm going to chalk that up to a childish(hood) need to remedy all the efforts that did not succeed.
This is why I love working with dogs. The change really is instantaneous.
I like the intellectual challenge, the soul enriching 'aha' moments and the knowledge that I'm making the world a better place by fostering happier people, but the results in that arena can be longer in coming. (though not much sometimes!)
But with dogs? Porkchop was a jumper, and 10 minutes later, he is no longer. Gotta love that. Seeing tears in the eyes of the people, when they learn the simple little behavior change that makes FiFi less anxious? Priceless!
So yeah, I love me some service!
Oddly, I make a special effort to look in the eyes of the homeless or people soliciting money or people who look "odd". I figure they feel invisible a lot so even if I am saying no to them about spare change, I want them to know I see them as a peer.
I could be more like Scrappy.
I have good relationships with several of the homeless fellows in my neighborhood. No relationship at all with another.
When walking, I endeavor to smile at, and greet everyone I pass. By 'greet' I mean murmuring, 'morning/afternoon/evening.' I don't always even include the 'good.'
If it is obviously a tourist, which is fairly common on my street, they get the friendly eye contact. People I know to nod at, get eye contact and a smile. If I get a bad vibe as someone approaches, I'll shuffle by.
The thing I don't understand, though I've heard completely rational explanations here regarding personal space, both physical and psychic...is when people seem actively angry that they've been addressed by a stranger. As if that really is taking something away from them.
It certainly isn't meant as an assault when I murmur a word acknowledging someone's humanity. But I've been addressed, on occasion, as if it were. (Seriously, my greetings are the lowest of keys. Boisterous greeters bother me too.)
Civility, I know, is practically a dirty word anymore, but I feel compelled to hold the line. There is enough isolation without making the streets even meaner.
From my neighborhood watch Yahoo group last night:
At 11:40 this evening, we watched CHP cars (at least 3) slowly drive down the street. One car stopped and the officers were using the car search light and flashlights to search the front yards along lower Covington near Marlow, as another car parked in the Marlow/Covington intersection. About five minutes later we watched as an officer (on foot, trailing a CHP car going UP Covington to Revere) walked a goat on a leash up the middle of the street. I kid you not.
20 min later, and all is quiet.
Was there a Fellini convention in the 'hood?
I just saw a family walking down the street -- the son was wearing a Boy Scout uniform, and the father was wearing a hat with a giant plastic ear of corn. A few minutes later, two Model T Fords (or something similar -- old-timey cars like that) drove by.