Maybe darshan is like blood. You give some away, and then you grow it back.

Erika, as others have said, being "woman on the street" sympathetic to someone who treated you as badly as she did is more than enough. Many quite decent people would not feel that much sympathy.

NoiseDesign, one of the refs at this bout is skating in a Utilikilt.

I bought a big case of quart-size canning jars last summer, planning to make pickles and sauerkraut and all kinds of stuff, and ended up doing absolutely nothing with them. I made some stuff in the pint and half-pint jars, but nothing in the quart ones. In packing up my kitchen, I was trying to decide whether to take the jars with me, in the hopes that I'll sometime actually make quart jars of something, or to just admit defeat. Someone just posted on Freecycle looking for canning jars. I'm giving them to her -- someone who's specifically looking for them is probably going to use them, and it's better than they be used then that they just sit around.

I keep remembering the guy who founded Nairopa: he was an alcoholic and a womanizer and generally problematic, yet he was also somehow an important spiritual teacher for a lot of people who would have that kind of awe in his presence. I never met him or anything, but i've met people who he taught, and they seem to have genuinely gained something from the association. Of he also lost something, well, I don't know but I doubt it. But I could be entirely wrong.

Good call giving away the jars, Hil. Bulky and easily replaced if you find you want them.

Ok, when I thought there were just facial pustules, I found that fairly amusing, I have to say. Much like sitting around the other night wondering if Kurzweil made a chalkboard that talks for Glenn Beck. Even I don't think blood cancer is funny, though, if it turns out that she has it.

erika, I'm sorry to hear that your stepmother is ill, but don't beat yourself up if you can't feel more sympathy for her than you would for any stranger. It doesn't sound like she has really done much to earn more than that from you.

Great...Thanks, Bitches(as opposed to the Olbermannesque "Great thanks," as I'm not quite old-school-tie enough to rock that one. I guess when you have had people give you a hard enough time about seeming "Normal", you start to wonder if anything you think is ever all right.

I spent some time at Samye Ling, the largest Buddhist retreat center outside Asia. The high holy guy came for a visit while I was there. Everyone went running to be blessed and a woman specifically invited me to do so. I couldn't bring myself to insinuate myself into someone else's religion/holy moment.

On the other hand, there was a small band of Tibetan monks who came on the Great Peace March. They walked and drummed and worked as part of the community. All were affable but one seemed special. When the band felt their mission was complete, and decided to go home, he stayed and completed the journey with us. I don't think I ever spoke with him, but knew his smile and gait quite well.

A couple of years after the March, I was at another event, walking across a large field. Suddenly, I felt a warmth come over me and was compelled to look around. Up on a rise, a good distance away, there was Sawada, looking down on me. We locked eyes, he smiled so brightly, I can't even describe it, and then bowed deeply. I bowed in return and he turned and walked on.

As I regained my composure, I realized that I felt as if I'd eaten the most satisfying meal of my life and had the best night sleep. It was soul-filling.

Earlier this afternoon, I'd have said I had never had a personal experience of darshan. Clearly, I would have been wrong in saying so.

I could not believe that Sawada even recognized me...and maybe he didn't really...but that was a moment, I tell you what.

For those of you who don't like to make eye contact, do you get offended when someone does so, as long as they don't make the eye contact intrusive? I always make a point to look people as close to the eyes as I can, just because I get a better feel for them when I do. Maybe I can pick up moods better that way, I'm not too sure.