Giles, if you would like to get by in American society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless.

Buffy ,'Sleeper'


Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


smonster - Jul 15, 2010 5:57:01 pm PDT #25682 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

They come in many colors, Omnis. Or you could just think of it as subverting the dominant Star Trek paradigm.


§ ita § - Jul 15, 2010 6:28:37 pm PDT #25683 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

In the fantasy world of having a big pool to pick palatable clients from, prostitution seems less skeevy. But, frankly, I'm not kicking men out of bed. I can't imagine charging any to stay in. It just doesn't work that way.

I would hire myself out as a professional date, but even then, it would probably only be for a guy that could get his own date, and where does that leave you?


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 6:40:39 pm PDT #25684 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I think the thing with prostitution, straight prostitution, not like a mistress, is that none of your desires (besides money) are of importance. You're there to provide a number of sexual acts, end of story, here's the cash bye.

Prefs aren't really taken into consideration: pretty much gotta suck and swallow (although, really? Do high-class call girls, with their health exams and heavy rubber use do that?) gotta do anal, prolly gotta rim, at least be the do-er in golden showers.

I'm sure middle to high level prostitutes have firm NO areas, but your street sex worker -- NSM, I think.


smonster - Jul 15, 2010 6:45:06 pm PDT #25685 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

And then there's the issue that some men don't think a prostitute has a right to say no.


Steph L. - Jul 15, 2010 6:45:49 pm PDT #25686 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Prefs aren't really taken into consideration: pretty much gotta suck and swallow (although, really? Do high-class call girls, with their health exams and heavy rubber use do that?) gotta do anal, prolly gotta rim, at least be the do-er in golden showers.

All very important reasons I'd be a pro-domme and not a prostitute. No sexy sex, and I call the shots. So no urine. (On me, at least, and, as I think about it, someone would have to pay me A LOT for me to think about peeing on them. A LOT LOT LOT.)


Zenkitty - Jul 15, 2010 6:57:59 pm PDT #25687 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

As I understand it *cough* there are girls who provide those "special services". They charge more. A guy who wants special services from a girl who doesn't specialize can expect added-on charges. Or a "no". Or a "hell no".


Steph L. - Jul 15, 2010 6:58:58 pm PDT #25688 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

As I understand it *cough* there are girls who provide those "special services".

I'd rather just get paid to yell at dudes about their grammar. It's like editing, but pays better!


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 7:12:00 pm PDT #25689 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I'd rather just get paid to yell at dudes about their grammar

I do, and it's sadly not at all sexy or well renumerated.


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 7:14:56 pm PDT #25690 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

Henry's Unremitted Fail:

[link]

Quelle horreur!

ETA Oops, shouda gone to Natter but I shall let me Bitches gaze upon its wonder.


Sean K - Jul 15, 2010 7:15:27 pm PDT #25691 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

My poor cat is SO UNHAPPY with me right now. He swallowed a piece of my roommate's floss, and just passed it a little while ago. This, of course, came with a big poop attached to it, and he did the butt scoot thing on my roommate's rug to get it off, smearing it all over the rug, and himself. I pulled the floss the rest of the way out, and wiped his butt some, and we threw out the rug, but I decided he needed his first ever in his entire life bath. We will have no poop-ass cats in the house.

This. Did not. Go well.

It was perhaps the most brutal and traumatic experience of my life, and definitely of his.

I wasn't able to rinse the shampoo entirely, but I couldn't subject him to an inch of water any longer. Also, Satan himself was manifesting in my bathroom, and I needed to do something about that.

I feel like such a complete asshole right now, but at least I have no poop-ass cats in my house.