Giles, help! He's going to scold me!

Buffy ,'Never Leave Me'


Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


smonster - Jul 15, 2010 5:57:01 pm PDT #25682 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

They come in many colors, Omnis. Or you could just think of it as subverting the dominant Star Trek paradigm.


§ ita § - Jul 15, 2010 6:28:37 pm PDT #25683 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

In the fantasy world of having a big pool to pick palatable clients from, prostitution seems less skeevy. But, frankly, I'm not kicking men out of bed. I can't imagine charging any to stay in. It just doesn't work that way.

I would hire myself out as a professional date, but even then, it would probably only be for a guy that could get his own date, and where does that leave you?


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 6:40:39 pm PDT #25684 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I think the thing with prostitution, straight prostitution, not like a mistress, is that none of your desires (besides money) are of importance. You're there to provide a number of sexual acts, end of story, here's the cash bye.

Prefs aren't really taken into consideration: pretty much gotta suck and swallow (although, really? Do high-class call girls, with their health exams and heavy rubber use do that?) gotta do anal, prolly gotta rim, at least be the do-er in golden showers.

I'm sure middle to high level prostitutes have firm NO areas, but your street sex worker -- NSM, I think.


smonster - Jul 15, 2010 6:45:06 pm PDT #25685 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

And then there's the issue that some men don't think a prostitute has a right to say no.


Steph L. - Jul 15, 2010 6:45:49 pm PDT #25686 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Prefs aren't really taken into consideration: pretty much gotta suck and swallow (although, really? Do high-class call girls, with their health exams and heavy rubber use do that?) gotta do anal, prolly gotta rim, at least be the do-er in golden showers.

All very important reasons I'd be a pro-domme and not a prostitute. No sexy sex, and I call the shots. So no urine. (On me, at least, and, as I think about it, someone would have to pay me A LOT for me to think about peeing on them. A LOT LOT LOT.)


Zenkitty - Jul 15, 2010 6:57:59 pm PDT #25687 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

As I understand it *cough* there are girls who provide those "special services". They charge more. A guy who wants special services from a girl who doesn't specialize can expect added-on charges. Or a "no". Or a "hell no".


Steph L. - Jul 15, 2010 6:58:58 pm PDT #25688 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

As I understand it *cough* there are girls who provide those "special services".

I'd rather just get paid to yell at dudes about their grammar. It's like editing, but pays better!


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 7:12:00 pm PDT #25689 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I'd rather just get paid to yell at dudes about their grammar

I do, and it's sadly not at all sexy or well renumerated.


Strix - Jul 15, 2010 7:14:56 pm PDT #25690 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

Henry's Unremitted Fail:

[link]

Quelle horreur!

ETA Oops, shouda gone to Natter but I shall let me Bitches gaze upon its wonder.


Sean K - Jul 15, 2010 7:15:27 pm PDT #25691 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

My poor cat is SO UNHAPPY with me right now. He swallowed a piece of my roommate's floss, and just passed it a little while ago. This, of course, came with a big poop attached to it, and he did the butt scoot thing on my roommate's rug to get it off, smearing it all over the rug, and himself. I pulled the floss the rest of the way out, and wiped his butt some, and we threw out the rug, but I decided he needed his first ever in his entire life bath. We will have no poop-ass cats in the house.

This. Did not. Go well.

It was perhaps the most brutal and traumatic experience of my life, and definitely of his.

I wasn't able to rinse the shampoo entirely, but I couldn't subject him to an inch of water any longer. Also, Satan himself was manifesting in my bathroom, and I needed to do something about that.

I feel like such a complete asshole right now, but at least I have no poop-ass cats in my house.