And they want me to go to Savannah for a campus interview next week, with me paying my own expenses.

Yeah....no. Sounds like the right call to me, Hil.

Yes. Gross, Aims. Boundaries, much?

She was expressing her want for more grandkids. She just ... well, she doesn't get to do that. Sorry.

I think I skimmed, or my brain is fried -- does she *know* that more grandkids aren't possible? Because if so, WOW is she insensitive! And inappropriate.

If not, well, then she's just being thoughtlessly gung-ho in a space that isn't hers, which is *still* an issue of Boundaries, Learn Them NOW.

Either one sucks, and I'm sorry it happened.

Thanks, sweetie. It's the second. It's never been expressly stated that there is an issue. She's just gung-ho. Which, I totally get. Joe and I make kick-ass kids.

It's never been expressly stated that there is an issue.

So she's just clueless. I guess that's better than mean-spirited. Yay?

It's totally better, but not any less hurtful. I know it wasn't intentional, but it's a sad-making thing. And makes me sad.

It has been absolutely delightful to hear about you enjoying your trip, Sean. My feelings of jealousy are quelled somewhat by someone so deserving having this vacation.

Go P-C! Enjoy.

Good call, Hil. I know it is frustrating not to have a position, but the wrong place wouldn't help anything.

I am trying really hard to change my attitude toward her. I know that it hurts Joe that I don't much care for his mother. He knows it's not *new*, my not liking her, but I want to try to not be so hostile. She's his mom. She's my child's grandmother. It makes things that much harder. But then she says stupid shit like always, and I fall back into being hostile and angry.

I'm not going to suggest communicating with the MIL if it causes you more pain, but some people don't get that they are causing a problem unless you let them know. This isn't a friend or coworker that you can just block from life so an effort to let her know she hurt you might be helpful. People do say stupid shit, but sometimes they grow if you call them on it. If she is deliberately hurtful then that is a different story. If she just says clueless things, then lend her a clue. (feel free to ignore me, and please accept hugs)

I've just noticed that for some time I have been catching up on hundreds of posts and responding in my head, but not on the actual keyboard. Must remember to post.

Honestly, the whole grandparents feeling like they have a say in how many kids you have is something I don't get. If/when I get married and my mother (or his mother) says something to me, I will say, politely "thanks for your interest, but this is something that futurehubby and I want to keep between the two of us. If there's something to tell, you'll be one of the first"

If there's something to tell, you'll be one of the first

After us, right?

Many sympathies, Aims.

I'm not going to suggest communicating with the MIL if it causes you more pain, but some people don't get that they are causing a problem unless you let them know.

I agree with this as far as it goes. But could Joe say something?