Happy birthday, Javachik!

And, dude? Even if only 2 therapy sessions are free, you yourself pointed out that you have a good job and make a good living, so spend some of that money on therapy. It's a worthwhile investment.

Definitely contact that EAP. While those two therapy sessions will not fully resolve these issues, they will help you form a plan for deciding how you want to proceed, and how best to take care of yourself as you deal with your decisions. The EAP can do things like research support groups and self-help books for people in this situation, and can help you figure out what mental health benefits you have under your medical insurance, in case you wish to pursue further counseling. They may even be able to help you find a counselor who has experience with this kind of issue.

the stuff parents pay for out of choice should NEVER be used as a weapon. That's just low.

Yeah, reading that part of Sunil's mom's response made me very angry. Sunil, you are not some f**king vending machine that they can put money into you, push some buttons and get a daughter-in-law automatically.

guh! Another earthquake. Do not want.

um, I think that was a minor earthquake. Fluffy was shaking when I was sitting still.

Ha! Earthquake Cross Post!

Wow, looks like it was a 5.9 down on the Mexican border. [link]

I hate those roley ones the most. At least when the windows rattle I know when it's over but when the wavey ones stop my stomach keeps going.

As a 41-year-old non-married female, I am very grateful that I have no cultural/parental concerns regarding my status.

My sistah! Totally with you there.

My mother once told me that she wanted me to get married. My dad was really annoyed with her, and I said "hey, it's okay. What she means is that she wants me to have a good life like she's found with you and she thinks that the only way for that to happen is for me to get married. It's cool, you and I both know that I'm happy." It was cute how relieved he was, he thought I'd be upset.

Brownies are in the oven! No beeping during pre-heat, so I guess no smoke. The last of it burned off for last nights cookies, I suppose. What ever it was, good ridence. So. Um. Seems I tossed the half bottle of vanilla in TX rather than pack a glass bottle of liquid. Forgot before making brownies. So I added cinnamon instead. Hope they turn out ok.

Since Mom is halfway between me and the earthquake, I called to see how she was. She didn't feel it at all. She was taking out the trash. Go figure.

As cook, I get the enviable job of licking the brownie bowl! Yum! So much better when made from scratch rather than a box.

P-C, you must be walking funny, because you have balls of STEEL.

Ha.

Shit, you shouldn't even have had to tell them about all your amazing kickass accomplishments -- they should be accosting people in the grocery store to tell them to go see your play, or how successful you are in your career, or what a good, caring, funny, wicked smart person you are.

Of course I had to tell them. Because they clearly don't give a shit about them.

(And, dude? Even if only 2 therapy sessions are free, you yourself pointed out that you have a good job and make a good living, so spend some of that money on therapy. It's a worthwhile investment.)

I had a bad experience in college, and it's soured me on counseling. I know I should get over it, but the first step is the hardest. I'm a different person now anyway.

It will never end...it's NOT just this one marriage thing. So you can't just give in. Cause it will never end.

Heh, yeah, that's a very good point.

The only thing I have to add is this chestnut: your family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them.

JZ said the same thing!

I was drumming my fingers on the desk saying to myself, um, pretty sure he paid for that stuff himself

My mom appears to have some sort of psychological block that keeps her from thinking I can pay for anything myself. One visit home, my sister was asking who paid my cell phone bills, and my mom immediately responded, "Daddy!" Which was so patently untrue it was, you know, a bald-faced lie.

Are you absolutely certain that cutting off contact with your family for a year or so would make you unhappier than continued contact does?

With just my parents? No. All family? That could be more stressful.

The EAP can do things like research support groups and self-help books for people in this situation, and can help you figure out what mental health benefits you have under your medical insurance, in case you wish to pursue further counseling. They may even be able to help you find a counselor who has experience with this kind of issue.

Yeah, that would be great.