As a 41-year-old non-married female, I am very grateful that I have no cultural/parental concerns regarding my status.

My sistah! Totally with you there.

My mother once told me that she wanted me to get married. My dad was really annoyed with her, and I said "hey, it's okay. What she means is that she wants me to have a good life like she's found with you and she thinks that the only way for that to happen is for me to get married. It's cool, you and I both know that I'm happy." It was cute how relieved he was, he thought I'd be upset.

Brownies are in the oven! No beeping during pre-heat, so I guess no smoke. The last of it burned off for last nights cookies, I suppose. What ever it was, good ridence. So. Um. Seems I tossed the half bottle of vanilla in TX rather than pack a glass bottle of liquid. Forgot before making brownies. So I added cinnamon instead. Hope they turn out ok.

Since Mom is halfway between me and the earthquake, I called to see how she was. She didn't feel it at all. She was taking out the trash. Go figure.

As cook, I get the enviable job of licking the brownie bowl! Yum! So much better when made from scratch rather than a box.

P-C, you must be walking funny, because you have balls of STEEL.

Ha.

Shit, you shouldn't even have had to tell them about all your amazing kickass accomplishments -- they should be accosting people in the grocery store to tell them to go see your play, or how successful you are in your career, or what a good, caring, funny, wicked smart person you are.

Of course I had to tell them. Because they clearly don't give a shit about them.

(And, dude? Even if only 2 therapy sessions are free, you yourself pointed out that you have a good job and make a good living, so spend some of that money on therapy. It's a worthwhile investment.)

I had a bad experience in college, and it's soured me on counseling. I know I should get over it, but the first step is the hardest. I'm a different person now anyway.

It will never end...it's NOT just this one marriage thing. So you can't just give in. Cause it will never end.

Heh, yeah, that's a very good point.

The only thing I have to add is this chestnut: your family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them.

JZ said the same thing!

I was drumming my fingers on the desk saying to myself, um, pretty sure he paid for that stuff himself

My mom appears to have some sort of psychological block that keeps her from thinking I can pay for anything myself. One visit home, my sister was asking who paid my cell phone bills, and my mom immediately responded, "Daddy!" Which was so patently untrue it was, you know, a bald-faced lie.

Are you absolutely certain that cutting off contact with your family for a year or so would make you unhappier than continued contact does?

With just my parents? No. All family? That could be more stressful.

The EAP can do things like research support groups and self-help books for people in this situation, and can help you figure out what mental health benefits you have under your medical insurance, in case you wish to pursue further counseling. They may even be able to help you find a counselor who has experience with this kind of issue.

Yeah, that would be great.

P-C, you work for a pharm co, right? Check out the mental health insurance; therapy's prolly cheaper than call liquor.

And kinda interview a therapist first...I found my current one by checking out Psychology Today's therapist listings for my area, checked out several listings, found one who seemed copacetic to what I wanted (smart, minimum woo-woo, female, 30's) and then checked out her facebook page and blog.

Sent her an exploratory email explaining what was going on and what I was looking for, and asking if she thought her style would be a good fit.

I went in for a session, and liked her quite a lot, and it's been going pretty well.

We're totally going steady!

But I have hooked up with some one-time therapy stands, and maybe it was a cheap thrill, but they just weren't right for me.

I am very snobby when it comes to therapists. If I feel like they aren't at least as smart as I am, I can't get down with 'em. It's a quirk, but hey, I own it.

Just like with any other medical practicioner, that first visit is something of an interview. You have to ask yourself, Is this a person I trust with my health for the long term? If not, ease on down the road.

omnis, don't burn your apartment. How else could I come and live with you if it'll be burned?

You heard it here first. Shir is wanting to shack up with me! SWEET!

Dude? t looks around for handy cluestick.

Zenkitty, tell your friend that if she doesn't want to involve the police, call her local National Guard or reserve and ask to speak to someone about it. Perhaps an officer might send a couple of guys around to collect it.

You know the first time I did this back in 2001, my mom totally Godwinned? I said I wasn't a soldier taking orders from a general, and she interpreted it as my calling her "a Hitler."

Also my dad yelled at me for using metaphors just because I was a high and mighty English major.

crap. tomorrow we are having this School Of The Arts picnic (hence the brownies). As designated sound guy, I learned today I need to provide music. So while the brownies were baking, I put together a nice 2 hour playlist of summer/sun/california/schools out/party songs. Problem. Can't find box of blank media to burn a disk. Guess I'll bring my cheap-o laptop in to work tomorrow. Now, to see if I can get the playlist from the iMac onto the laptop.

Dude? :looks around for handy cluestick.:

Hmmm. Not sure how to take that. I might need a couple more whacks.

Dude, TMI.