See, the way I feel (and how I ended up kinda disassociating from my parents' crazy expectations...which they've mellowed a bit as they've gotten older, and gotten crazier in other ways) is that you know if you were married, it would be about whether you had kids. Or whether you were supporting your parents properly. Or whether your wife was showing appropriate respect. And once you had kids, it would be whether you were bringing the kids to see the grandparents often enough, or raising them correctly (teaching them the appropriate Gujarati things!) etc, etc. It will never end...it's NOT just this one marriage thing. So you can't just give in. Cause it will never end.

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{{P.-C.}} I'd like to add something to what Steph just said, but I've got nothing to trump Balls of Steel.

As a 41-year-old non-married female, I am very grateful that I have no cultural/parental concerns regarding my status.

As a 46-year-old never-married childless-by-choice female, I am also very grateful for the lack of familial expectations in those areas.

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Bitches are wise. The only thing I have to add is this chestnut: your family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them.

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((( P-C ))) dunno what to say that hasn't been said better by smarter folks. I'm pushing 39 and not anywhere close to being married. Thankfully parents don't pester about it. My sister is starting to. Every time I call, that is one of the first questions "met any nice girls yet?" or "Any hot dates recently" I learned not to tell when I do have a date, because she thinks it will lead to something, which it never really does. But that drama is NOTHING compared to yours. Stay strong, my brother. You have us to lean on.

((( Hil ))) Don't stress about things you have no control over. I know, easy to say, hard to do. But, we got your back. Stay strong.

As she was clearing out the hall closet so she could work in there, she discovered, at the very back of the top shelf, a grenade.

:: blink blink :: HUH?!? That is just crazy.

I told The Boy this weekend that we need to get married so that we can send out save-the-date cards like these: [link]

NICE!

omnis, don't burn your apartment. How else could I come and live with you if it'll be burned?

You heard it here first. Shir is wanting to shack up with me! SWEET! :: happy dance in style of Snoopy :: [link]

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P-C, that was an amazing letter, and I'm truly sorry about the response. Let me give you a tiny peek from another angle. I was not the bride H's parents wanted for him: Wrong ethnicity, wrong religion, wrong culture, parents not wealthy or admirable, not pretty enough. H decided he loved me, and told them so. They cut off all communication.

Seven years, two continents, four house moves, two kids, a stint in the army, and two jobs later, they called and asked us to dinner. All was forgiven, on both sides, and they have never failed in their love and support from that moment. So things can work out. But you have to live your own life and let everyone else work through their stuff. It's not yours to fix.

You're a brave man. You have my respect, as well as affection.

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I wish I could put my name on Steph's post cuz, yeah...and YEAH!

(Also, for fuck's sake, they paid for college, but the only semester I had to pay for grad school, I took out a loan myself and paid it all back myself, and I bought my fucking car with my own fucking money that I earned at my own fucking job.)

As I was reading your mom's response...granted I don't know you other than on-board...I was drumming my fingers on the desk saying to myself, um, pretty sure he paid for that stuff himself and, regardless, the stuff parents pay for out of choice should NEVER be used as a weapon. That's just low.

Obviously, I concur with the idea of getting some helpful tools through counseling and/or coaching. If it feels like too much of a financial investment (though I agree with what others have said about value vs. dollars), many religious institutions have low or no cost counseling services.

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My parents never give me shit about not providing them with grandchildren because they're both kind and sane enough to know that this bothers me more than it could ever bother them. The marriage thing would be nice too, but its less of a time-sensitive situation.

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I've never been proposed to. I proposed, while eating some broccoli and cheese sauce, after taking an Ambien. (Hey, i forgot to eat and then I got hungry before going to bed.)

So it was kinda a woozy, cheesy,

"Do you wanna marry me?" "Of course." "Ok NOM NOM NOM cheese! Uh -- are we engaged, then?"

ION, our basement flooded. NOT HAPPY.

P-C, you are much nicer than I.

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P-C do have a question for you. Are you absolutely certain that cutting off contact with your family for a year or so would make you unhappier than continued contact does?

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Headline from an unfortunately named town in Minnesota:

Shots fired in Kiester

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