P-C, that was an amazing letter, and I'm truly sorry about the response. Let me give you a tiny peek from another angle. I was not the bride H's parents wanted for him: Wrong ethnicity, wrong religion, wrong culture, parents not wealthy or admirable, not pretty enough. H decided he loved me, and told them so. They cut off all communication.

Seven years, two continents, four house moves, two kids, a stint in the army, and two jobs later, they called and asked us to dinner. All was forgiven, on both sides, and they have never failed in their love and support from that moment. So things can work out. But you have to live your own life and let everyone else work through their stuff. It's not yours to fix.

You're a brave man. You have my respect, as well as affection.

I wish I could put my name on Steph's post cuz, yeah...and YEAH!

(Also, for fuck's sake, they paid for college, but the only semester I had to pay for grad school, I took out a loan myself and paid it all back myself, and I bought my fucking car with my own fucking money that I earned at my own fucking job.)

As I was reading your mom's response...granted I don't know you other than on-board...I was drumming my fingers on the desk saying to myself, um, pretty sure he paid for that stuff himself and, regardless, the stuff parents pay for out of choice should NEVER be used as a weapon. That's just low.

Obviously, I concur with the idea of getting some helpful tools through counseling and/or coaching. If it feels like too much of a financial investment (though I agree with what others have said about value vs. dollars), many religious institutions have low or no cost counseling services.

My parents never give me shit about not providing them with grandchildren because they're both kind and sane enough to know that this bothers me more than it could ever bother them. The marriage thing would be nice too, but its less of a time-sensitive situation.

I've never been proposed to. I proposed, while eating some broccoli and cheese sauce, after taking an Ambien. (Hey, i forgot to eat and then I got hungry before going to bed.)

So it was kinda a woozy, cheesy,

"Do you wanna marry me?" "Of course." "Ok NOM NOM NOM cheese! Uh -- are we engaged, then?"

ION, our basement flooded. NOT HAPPY.

P-C, you are much nicer than I.

P-C do have a question for you. Are you absolutely certain that cutting off contact with your family for a year or so would make you unhappier than continued contact does?

Headline from an unfortunately named town in Minnesota:

Shots fired in Kiester

Happy birthday, Javachik!

And, dude? Even if only 2 therapy sessions are free, you yourself pointed out that you have a good job and make a good living, so spend some of that money on therapy. It's a worthwhile investment.

Definitely contact that EAP. While those two therapy sessions will not fully resolve these issues, they will help you form a plan for deciding how you want to proceed, and how best to take care of yourself as you deal with your decisions. The EAP can do things like research support groups and self-help books for people in this situation, and can help you figure out what mental health benefits you have under your medical insurance, in case you wish to pursue further counseling. They may even be able to help you find a counselor who has experience with this kind of issue.

the stuff parents pay for out of choice should NEVER be used as a weapon. That's just low.

Yeah, reading that part of Sunil's mom's response made me very angry. Sunil, you are not some f**king vending machine that they can put money into you, push some buttons and get a daughter-in-law automatically.

guh! Another earthquake. Do not want.

um, I think that was a minor earthquake. Fluffy was shaking when I was sitting still.

Ha! Earthquake Cross Post!