Y'all, I sure wouldn't call them vanilla.

You betcha.

Wait. Are you agreeing that handcuffs *are* kinky, or they're NOT?

I think that handcuffs are adventurous, not kinky. They are not the "norm" or vanilla, but their use is common enough that it's almost acceptable.

It's like how my kink friend J calls me "french vanilla" - vanilla, but with a kick ;)

I think that handcuffs are adventurous, not kinky.

Hee! I like that distinction.

(Metal hurts. Do not want.)

(Metal hurts. Do not want.)

cloth or velvet lines helps with that. Although, frankly, if your partner really knows what they're doing, you'll still bruise a little.

(Metal hurts. Do not want.)

cloth or velvet lines helps with that.

I figure there's enough rope in the world. Most of it in our house. Failing that, leather cuffs are quick and not nerve-pinchy painful.

Wait. Are you agreeing that handcuffs *are* kinky, or they're NOT?

Not really, not anymore.

The kink is in the eye of the beholder, and handcuffs can have legitimate roles in a sexual relationship. Like tying your partner to the bed so he/she won't run away. Or... decorative accessories. Yes, a decorative accessory. New way to keep in mind your grocery list!

OTOH, maybe I'm so serene about it since I've been NGA for like, eternity.

Edit:

I think that handcuffs are adventurous, not kinky.

Echoing that like nobody's business.

handcuffs can have legitimate roles in a sexual relationship.

So...the determinant of whether something is kinky is if it does NOT have a legitimate role in a sexual relationship?

How do you determine "legitimate"?

Because I'd say *everything* The Boy and I use is legitimate, simply by dint of the fact that it gets us off. But just because I think that, say, pony gear is legitimate by that definition does NOT mean that it's not kinky.

And I'm not trying to be contentious, or split hairs, or be all Look At Me I'm So Deviant.

Defining what we do and what it means is *really* important to me. So we talk about this a lot. That's why I'm wondering about your (and other people's) definitions.

I'm getting the impression that Teppy is wanting to use words as precision tools, while all around people are using them like Nerf balls, and lobbing them every which way.

Fay, all the ~ma for safety for you and The Cat Daniel, and much ~ma for peace.

(I've had some interesting conversations with people during which I've realised that what they think of as extremely unusual and weird, I think of as a bit of a dull evening really.)

Yes, exactly. "Japanese bondage *again*?"

Y'all, I sure wouldn't call them vanilla.

Well, no, but I feel there's some real estate between "vanilla" and "kinky". A sort of "crotchless panties" zone.

(Metal hurts. Do not want.)

This point bears repeating. Handcuffs are painful.

How do you determine "legitimate"?

It's never occurred to me to define that. If it works for all partners and no one's getting hurt*, it's all good.

Is anyone else fantasizing about putting together a geeky A-Team, stealing some choppers, storming into Bangkok, grabbing Fay and Daniel, and getting out? I'm not going to be able to relax until I know they're safe.

eta *for all values of "hurt" that equal "do not want".