Yay for beth's mom!

Broke up with D. Probably for the best but no fun. Got accused of looking for perfection.

Got accused of looking for perfection.

You and your silly standards.

So. Who are you going to break up with in the summer?

I do not like stress. I wish it would go away.

{{smonster}}I'm pretty sure you are only looking for excellence. As well you should.

Glad for the good news, beth!

Ah, smonster, that sucks.

My apartment is way too hot. I have a fan on, but it's not helping a whole lot, and the sound is annoying me. Air conditioning hasn't been switched on yet. There's a dumpster outside my window, and if I open the window, my apartment will smell like trash.

The thing that I need to rewrite for my dissertation is something that requires some answers from my advisor first, because there's a piece that I don't understand, and I know that he'll make me feel stupid about not understanding.

I keep forgetting to go to the bank to deposit my student loan check.

At Passover, various relatives will tell me that I'm fat, that I should be married by now, that I should have kids by now, that I should be more religious, that I should be less religious, that I should eat fish, and that being vegan means that I'm stupid. There might also be comments about my hair. Oh, and at Passover, we're supposed to sit on cushions because we're free now and not slaves. At my uncle's house, that means men sit on cushions. Women sit on uncushioned chairs and serve the meal.

My aunt thinks I'm wonderful. My dad doesn't criticize me unless he thinks I'm spending too much money, or not making enough money. My cousin will not say anything to me other than "hi." Everybody else will probably have some comment about how I'm not up to standard.

I'm sorry for your loss, Beth and Matt.

I'm sorry D didn't work out, smonster.

At my uncle's house, that means men sit on cushions. Women sit on uncushioned chairs and serve the meal.

Wow, really? That's appalling.

Family, man.

Hil, do you take anything for your panic attacks? I don't believe in throwing drugs at mood-related issues as a first line of defense, but you've had a lot of stress going on for quite a while, and maybe it would help if you took an anti-anxiety drug, or maybe an antidepressant (which also have anti-anxiety effects).

I do have meds. The dosage might need to be adjusted, or they might just not be strong enough to deal with last year of grad school. (I don't think I've seen anybody go through the last year of grad school without breaking down crying in the office at least once. At least one person started crying during her defense.)