Stoner Vamp ,'Lessons'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Tommyrot in Natter:
I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
not quite alive, you see
Says I "But Joe, you're ten years dead"
"Yes I died" said he
"I became a zombie"
And standing there as big as life
and chewing on his eye.
Says Joe "What they can never kill
went on to terrorize,
went on to BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS!"
Scrappy, gettin her terms right in Natter:
I think donating sperm is considered onanous, rather than onerous.
Hil R. in Bitches:
There are several bars downtown closing today because they don't want to deal with the drunk people. Something has gone too far when bars are shutting down to avoid drunk people.
in Natter:
Hil R. - Dogs went to church?
Gudanov - I assume that's before they knew that all dogs go the heaven anyways.
Connie Neil, in Bitches:
So I'm looking at one of my favorite Scandinavia and the World comics, about the penis museum in Iceland.
I'm looking at the last panel, where Iceland is showing off his lamp made from testicles. My phone rings, and I say "Company Name Te--"
And my tongue locks up, because my brain just realized I was about to say "Testicle Support."
Regarding Tom paying off his mortgage...
Theo at least put the money you were putting into the mortgage toward other things!
Tom Scola HOOKER AND BLOW!!!
DavidS in Bitches:
I think that's the kind of behavior one can expect from somebody named Uncle Dickhead
Zenkitty hilariously in Bitches:
I am such a shitty gardener, you'd think I could fertilize with my mere presence.
In Goodbye and Good Riddance, this made me laugh and get allergies:
Erin: (After describing Shir’s awesome Slacker Santa gift) Rav todot, havera sheli! Toda raba. (Did I get the Hebrew right? I didn't call you a fish, or a perfume bottle or something, did I?)
Shir: …The Hebrew is fine, I think (if it's supposed to be "thank you very much, my friend! Thank you"). I'm always touched when people who aren't speaking Hebrew are trying to translate things into it. It's fucking hard to get anything right.
Erin: The last part was supposed to be "you are very kind" but at least it wasn't "your mother was a llama" so it's good!
Shir: What do you mean, my mother was not a llama?!
Erin: OMG, you were NEVER TO KNOW! I am living in shame that I have revealed your dark family secret!
Shir: Llamas and secrets and lies! Evil lies!
Erin: That's family for you...
Shir: t Tucklehugz Erin That's family for me.
On how to price publishing advice services, in bitches.
Steph L.: I thought about that, but I'm not sure how much of a fee I can charge for punching authors in the head.