Jessica, in Bitches, with the asterisk:

*Please note that breaking up by semaphore does require both parties to be able to decode semaphore signals, and therefore may be not be ideal unless you are breaking up at sea in the 19th century.

Zenkitty: Once bitten, twice shy. Five times bitten, just fuck it all.

More epic awwwwwwwwwwww than spit-take

beth b: I love my Dh , we have fun , we like hanging out together, he is great for my brain, but the bonus is that he can, will, and has dealt with me at some truly less than pleasant physical moments.

Matt H: And you've done the same for me. It's what makes it work - the whole 'in good times and bad' thing.

Plus, the cuteness thing doesn't go away when you're sick. IJS.

Erin: Hee. I remember trying to check out stuff from the Adult section (not like XXXAdult, just not from the Kids section) and the librarian refused to do it -- I was 7 or so. My mom was all "WTF? She can check out whatever the hell she wants!"

She got my kiddo book limit upped to - there was a 3 book max if you were a certain age, and Mom was all "We live in the country. She will be done with 3 books in 2 hours. Do you see the grocery sack I brought? Please, give her as many as she wants."

Bless my mom and dad. Daddy also defended my book rights. One day in 6th grade -- after I was done with my schoolwork, I might add -- my teacher "caught" me reading a book. It was -- gasp!- a Silhouette Desire. Remember, with the flaming red COVERS OF SIN?

She marched me down to the principal's office, and called my parents. Innappropriate, unsuitable, porn OMFG in the classroom!

Daddy was home sick, which happened like once every 5 years. Heh. He came down like the logical wrath of god on her head. "Was she done with her work?"

"Er..yes. But this book is just --"

"Are you telling me what I should or should not allow my child to read?"

"Um, well, but in the classroom, this..."

"WE are the ones who make the decisions regarding what Erin is capable of reading. WE have discussed material in books with her. WE decide what she can or cannot read. And WE have decided she is capable of reading this book."

Bless him, I think he would have done the same thing if I had been reading "A Child's Guide to Porn -- Find Out How!" He was pissed.

I got home, and he looked at the book in question ("The Cowboy Zillionaire's Secret Baby Mama Virgin Bride" or some such), snorted, and lumbered over to the bookshelf, picked out the bodice-ripper with the most lurid, pornoriffic cover, and told me to take that book to school tomorrow.

There are reasons I adore my father.

Hil: The Sexual Politics of Meat is actually about how consumption of meat is linked to oppression of women.

Zenkitty: Hmpf. She'll take my steak and bacon when she pries it out of my cold dead delicate feminine hands. The only use I have for Lean Cuisine is to feed it to pigs to make pork out of it.

In Bitches:

Trudy Booth: When Nilly was here she posed under the giant lobster at the Times Square Red Lobster. It is my goal in life to find a cheezy beach stand that embroiders stuff and get her a stuffed lobster named Treyfy.

Jossverse:

Shir: I think there's a lesson for all of us here. Details do matter. Be VERY specific about who you want to kill, and how. Write neatly and duly, font 12, 1.5 spacing, and leave standard margins.

erikaj in Great Write Way (do I really need to tell you about who?):

And I'm still not buying her Origin myth either...why not just say a radioactive potboiler bit you while you were hanging around your uncle's lab?

If you guessed Stephanie Meyers, you'd be right.

Matt the Bruins: Are those phone camera commercials supposed to do anything besides convince me that Ashton Kutcher would have been killed long ago if Demi Moore weren't scary?

Please note: These are college students.

DebetEsse: We were doing sentence diagramming in class, and I used the example, "Deck the halls with boughs of holly."

We got through the implied [you] subject, since it's a command, fairly easily, but the class had nothing at all when asked what the sentence actually meant. "deck" and "boughs" were both unfamiliar. There were a couple to whom "holly" was not particularly meaningful, and let's not even get into, "well, really, they're probably not talking about halls that connect rooms, but large rooms where many people gather. Like a dining hall."