Jessica: I have a serious case of the Can't Evens today. I'm at my desk but NOTHING is getting done. I had one tiny burst of productivity around 10am and since then I've been staring at my to-do list and then drifting over to the browser where my personal tabs are open.

Topic!Cindy:  One of the ways I first diagnose myself with the Can't Evens is when I realize I Can't Even close my browser window. It's a legitimate symptom, Jess.

Dana - I thought at first you had a case of the Chris Evans.

Amy -  Plei is one who usually has a case of the Chris Evans.

Jessica:

I thought at first you had a case of the Chris Evans.

I Could Maybe, if I had a case of Chris Evans.

flea -  It comes in cases? I'm getting one.

-t: 

I Could Maybe, if I had a case of Chris Evans.

Title of your sextape?

Nothing to see here.

Natter:

Jesse: Nearly every case in Massachusetts can be linked to one meeting two weeks ago!

Steph L: The 34th Annual Doorknob Licking Conference?

Natter:

Pix

We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse.

DXMachina

It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

shrift, in Natter:

I'm getting roped into even more COVID-19 stuff at work, which means I can't spend as much time I'd like being anxious and staring off into the middle distance. Maybe the distraction will be good.

In the "When Come Back" thread--(I'm preserving the date and taglines, because worthy)

flea - Mar 4, 2020 1:49:01 pm PST #1069 of 1070 -- information libertarian

I just went back to the beginning of this thread and... we've been at this a long time, people.

-t - Mar 4, 2020 8:53:19 pm PST #1070 of 1070 -- I'm a strong independent acid snake in the skin suit of a strong independent woman

This thread is old enough to vote

Toddson , in Natter:

It occurred to me ... I wash my groceries when I bring them home (except the precious, precious toilet paper) and when I wake up I have mascara rings under my eyes ... am I a raccoon now?

2 April 20202: Natter dispatches from Covidia

Amy: I'm so fucking furious. I'm sitting here at home just stewing, which is not productive, but the bakery owner has yet to get back to me about the points I asked to be clarified (such as when my self-quarantine period is starting/stopping, when I will come back to work, how she's going to pay me for the work she wants done while I'm home).

She also still seems to think that me self-quarantining can somehow include coming to the bakery to pick up and drop off laundry, and pick up invoices that need to be paid, and doing the bank deposit. Which are all emphatically not a part of the definition of self-quarantining as I understand it.

And now is really not the time to be looking for another job, you know?

Matt the Bruins Fan: Amy, bakeries have really big ovens, don't they?

–Gretel

In Natter:

Jesse: I appreciated the thing going around the internet about how using whatever you currently have in the house for Passover in order to avoid a current plague should be the most kosher thing.

Jessica: Avoiding plague is very much in the spirit of the holiday.

Flea, with the substantive zing of the year.

******

Davids: Looks like Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer have split up and she's already leaking messy drama.

Scola: Apparently, she posted on her Patreon that they were broken up before she told Neil himself.

Flea: I mean, he could have subscribed for early access.