Bitches:

erikaj - Somebody is going to be calling me a 'grammar nazi!1" any time now cause I just had fun with a "build the fence" guy not knowing the difference between "vicious" and "viscous" mockery.

Connie Neil - I hate viscous mockery, it's a bitch to get out of the carpet.

erikaj - except that he adopted that whole "talk some sense into the little lady" type vibe that I just hate like heat rash.

Ginger - It's the oozing that gets to me.

WindSparrow - He deserves viscous mockery. Mock away. Viscously.

erikaj - All Slime, no antlers.

In Natter:

shrift 5:50am shuttle is horrendously early. I don't wike it.

I'm not so sure about this 'examining your heartset and mindset' thing, either.

tommyrot Yeah. I'd just draw a crude picture of my head, with the inside labeled, "Here Be Dragons."

Sophia Brooks: Traffic in my city is backed up because of cabbages! A cabbage truck has turned over on the highway!

-t: Not the cabbages!

msbelle_Rebecca: Release the rabbits!

In Natter:

Dana: This is the second time today I've been in the bathroom with a woman who didn't wash her hands. I guess it might have been the same woman both times.

-t: So I guess you aren't working from home today.

-t: I'm tired of the lizard people getting the blame for everything typographical. There are serif and sans serif types among lizard people just like any group.

Sophia Brooks: A cabbage truck has turned over on the highway!

brenda m: If life were The Simpsons, a mayonnaise truck would crash next.

Toddson , summing us up in F2F5:

ah, the Buffistas ... herding cats with spreadsheets

Brenda m, keeping it real. think there is a level of frustration with both white allies wanting, often subconsciously, to walk in and take over, and also with white fragility, that you have to read in to these interactions. Similarly to how women are often tasked with both doing their own part and to be emotional caretakers of men in discussions of sexism.

White people, even the most well meaning and genuine allies, are frequently just not that good at letting someone else take center stage. (Hell, look at that language I just used - letting. Maybe better to say "not that good at recognizing that someone not them belongs center stage".) So well-meaning ally becomes something that actually drains some energy and requires tending and feeding and why?

There are resources out there with recommendations for how white people can be allies in a way that doesn't take roles or energy from the people actually impacted. Or that can be even more effective - is a white face at a BLM demonstration more or less effective than a white person learning to recognize when and how to push back on their families and (mostly white) communities when they see racist or otherwise problematic behaviors?

More political than I like to get here, but bottom line, I think as people who want to be genuine allies, we need to be okay with being made uncomfortable and with not being a priority once in a while, and find our own channels.

ETA: I was heartbroken when at about age 18 or 19 I had a chance to meet Betty Shabazz and got smacked down for turning the conversation to what white people could do to help. It took me a long time to really get what she meant, and absorb it. edited by brenda m on Sep 3, 2015 2:14:15 pm P

In Natter:

sarameg - Let me share with you all a disturbing occurrence:

The moment you realize that the gentleman who is wearing the ittybitty flame-emblazoned speedo and standing on the deck of the pool doing post-swim hip rolls and thrusts (and yes, as lewd looking as it sounds,) is a coworker. Not one you've worked with, but still.

Now magnify this terrible reality with the dawning realization that without the benefit of foggy googles, it is also evident that his speedo has hit a vaguely translucent stage in full illumination of the setting sun.

I hope I NEVER have to work with him. My first words might be " you need a new swimsuit!"

billytea - The Translucent Speedos would however be an excellent name for a college rock band.

The Foggy Googles would be an excellent name for any band.

amych - FLAME. EMBLAZONED. TRANSLUCENT. SPEEDOS?

shrift - I'm cackling uncontrollably at this rancid Maraschino cherry atop a Nope Nope Nope! sundae.

sarameg - I'm reeling.

brenda m - That's not making it better, shrift.

aurelia - Turn that into a single sentence, sarameg, and you've got a Bulwer-Lytton contender.

billytea - I'm impressed that this guy apparently thinks the message "My crotch is on fire" is more likely to score him some woman's phone number rather than directions to the nearest clinic.

sarameg - I suspect it is more he just doesn't give a shit. Audience was largely swim lesson kids and people doing laps. Just no self awareness. (Color me shocked, from my workplace.)

Burrell - oh. dear. sarameg. There is no turning back.

shrift - Based on his flame-emblazoned Speedo, I didn't think he'd be a good candidate for a "look at your life, look at your choices" intervention.

Connie Neil - He'd probably puff out his chest and say "Yeah, my choices rock!" I admire that kind of chutzpah.

billytea - As long as it's just his chest he's puffing out, you're getting off lightly.

Connie Neil - That thought occurred to me.

shrift in Natter:

Oh, man. I have fallen down a NSFW rabbit hole.

...that's what she said.