Oh, Neo-Futurists.

I watched Conan the Barbarian last night. That was a bad movie. They should do that.

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

eta:

Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

How can you say a movie with lines like these is bad?

I was reading someone complaining that they were going to take the sexism out of the new Conan. I don't get people.

That was a bad movie.

It's like I don't know PC anymore.

Or did you see the one with the ending where he rides off with the princess, instead of him sitting on the steps of the burning temple, deep in thought?

It was the former, but the movie lost me waaaaay before that. It was so boring! I couldn't be arsed to stay fully awake through the whole thing and missed an entire subplot. It had its moments here and there and I give it points for having Mako and pretty good production values, but...it wasn't very good.

t shakes head I had such hopes for the boy.

Nooo! Conan movies with my dad! They are pure nostalgic crap FUN!

Heh. We watched Conan the Destroyer last week.

Yup. Still good cheesy fun. The Barbarian is always my fave, though, for the James Earl, the Thulsa Doom (deedee DUM, dadada deedle-deedle-deedle dum, dadada, deedeedum yadda da dum dee deedle dum, do-doodle) throne room dirge, and knowing at exactly which point Sandahl set her wig on fire. Plus, Mako, and Sandahl's "Do you want to live forever?" was a catchphrase within my coterie for decades. Probably still would be, in the right circumstances.

Yeah, the acting isn't stellar, but I love the entire package. It's very epic. That last battle of the two of them--plus Mako--against Thulsa Doom's army is just terrific.

I liked the part where they were fighting off evil spirits trying to take Conan to the land of the dead. Or whatever. The spirits looked way better and cooler than I expected.

Still good cheesy fun.

Yeah, I think it'd be more enjoyable with company. I had this whole running commentary in my head during the first twenty minutes that went something like this:

So Sam Weechester is hanging out with his dad and his mom, Angelina Jolie, when they're attacked and his dad is killed by EVIL DOGS. And then Darth Vader kills his mom. So they take him away and he pushes a giant donkey wheel, which transports him to Tunisia and transforms him into the Terminator, but with longer hair. Then he groans in pain for ten whole minutes.