MM, that's hilarious!

Write more!

laga, that sucks. My first thought was the gal you caught texting.

Joe, that was awesome. I posted in my facebook. Hopefully at least some of those 200 and some odd strangers that claim they know me will read it and digg it like I did. I wonder if you could take Collin Powell's speech to the UN for invading Iraq, and find humor. Like "this is what he said, but look deep in his eyes, and you know this is what he is thinking".

ION. House guests are both in the bathroom. For well over 30 minutes. 1) someone's getting some in my apartment, and it's not me... no fair!! and 2) I gotta pee. And I'm thirsty. Hate that combination.

MM, have you thought about a career in smartassery?

Maybe you could sell smartassery on cable TV.

Is Ron Popeil hiring?

I wanna see a throwdown between MM and the scary Sham-Wow dude.

Speaking of Sham-Wows, has anyone linked to this yet?

[link]

Bella's womb, crafted from felt and complete with mutant fetus.

And people thought Buffy fans were cracked.

Ha! My favorite part from MM's piece (ETA: Woo! Congrats, MM), because it describes a co-worker perfectly:

It may not have been the truth, but it was her truth. In the dictionary this is known as a "lie."

Also,

Got any news stories or historical moments in mind?

I'll get on it, though am kind of inherently lazy, which is why I like my funny spoon-fed to me free on the internets or... in a book that I would pay money for! Meanwhile,

Collin Powell's speech to the UN for invading Iraq

I like o_a's suggestion.

And I am totally serious when I say I would buy that book. Which, of course, means that millions of others would, too, because... I say so.

MM, that was a great article.

Good fun, MM! Hope you have tons of luck getting more published. You so rock the funny. Write a book, damnit! I need to fill my shelves with Buffista Books.

Love the article MM. Did you do the pictures too? The Shinnecock indian is very cute.

Got any news stories or historical moments in mind?

Not exactly "historical" but for some reason Jimmy Carter being attacked by an aquatic rabbit was the first thing that sprang to mind.

If you don't get the egg off pretty soon, it can make the finish duller

I never thought I'd be happy that it kept raining all night but because of that the egg never set on the car and I hosed it down when I got home last night. The neighbors must wonder why I was out at 1 am hosing down my car in the rain. I haven't tackled the china marker yet. I wish it were more legible. It seems a shame to go to such trouble and not get your point across. Except for "bitch". I can read that quite clearly in a couple spots.

Didn't you have to fire someone earlier this week?

She wasn't fired but she does feel like she's being treated unfairly and (as a projectionist) she works with china markers.

Hidalgo is a big load of horse shit. There's no evidence that any long-distance horse race ever took place in either the US or Arabia.