MM, have you thought about a career in smartassery?

Maybe you could sell smartassery on cable TV.

Is Ron Popeil hiring?

I wanna see a throwdown between MM and the scary Sham-Wow dude.

Speaking of Sham-Wows, has anyone linked to this yet?

[link]

Bella's womb, crafted from felt and complete with mutant fetus.

And people thought Buffy fans were cracked.

Ha! My favorite part from MM's piece (ETA: Woo! Congrats, MM), because it describes a co-worker perfectly:

It may not have been the truth, but it was her truth. In the dictionary this is known as a "lie."

Also,

Got any news stories or historical moments in mind?

I'll get on it, though am kind of inherently lazy, which is why I like my funny spoon-fed to me free on the internets or... in a book that I would pay money for! Meanwhile,

Collin Powell's speech to the UN for invading Iraq

I like o_a's suggestion.

And I am totally serious when I say I would buy that book. Which, of course, means that millions of others would, too, because... I say so.

MM, that was a great article.

Good fun, MM! Hope you have tons of luck getting more published. You so rock the funny. Write a book, damnit! I need to fill my shelves with Buffista Books.

Love the article MM. Did you do the pictures too? The Shinnecock indian is very cute.

Got any news stories or historical moments in mind?

Not exactly "historical" but for some reason Jimmy Carter being attacked by an aquatic rabbit was the first thing that sprang to mind.

If you don't get the egg off pretty soon, it can make the finish duller

I never thought I'd be happy that it kept raining all night but because of that the egg never set on the car and I hosed it down when I got home last night. The neighbors must wonder why I was out at 1 am hosing down my car in the rain. I haven't tackled the china marker yet. I wish it were more legible. It seems a shame to go to such trouble and not get your point across. Except for "bitch". I can read that quite clearly in a couple spots.

Didn't you have to fire someone earlier this week?

She wasn't fired but she does feel like she's being treated unfairly and (as a projectionist) she works with china markers.

Hidalgo is a big load of horse shit. There's no evidence that any long-distance horse race ever took place in either the US or Arabia.

Hidalgo is a big load of horse shit. There's no evidence that any long-distance horse race ever took place in either the US or Arabia.

As it was a Disney movie, I expected it to be about as historically accurate as Pocahontas. That is to say, much less reliable than, say a good retelling of Drums Along the Mohawk. Which is to say, I'd bet a week's pay that some guy named Frank Hopkins did actually ride a horse, sometime in the past. I'd put another $5 on the fact that a Frank Hopkins rode his horse for more than a couple miles at a stretch.

ETA: I'd like to say, that I really enjoyed the movie Hildalgo, far better than Drums Along the Mohawk, in spite of the fact that I have blood connections to characters in the latter.

All Hail Jennifer Figge: the first woman to swim across the Atlantic.