My cousin married a douchenozzle even though it was practically tattooed across his forehead from day 1. That never ends well.

wrt to fathers and divorce. My folks split when I was around 5. It was a good thing. He was a drunk, liked to argue, which would lead to picking fights, and stuff throwing about. Bless mom's heart, she never wanted to present dad in a bad light, so she encouraged us to spend as much time as possible with him. But he presented himself in a bad light all on his own. Like the time he tried to lean in to give me a hug, started to fall over (because he was leaning on me, a small kid on crutches!) and saved his beer before saving me. Ya, that bump on the head left an impression, so to speak. Also seeing how he would break the rules of divorce and truly antagonize mom didn't help his image. It helped when we moved a county away. As I grew up, my relationship with dad got better. But I still had to bite my tongue when talking with dad a short while back, when he was patting himself on the back for the great job he did with all three of us kids. Ya, that's mom's back you should be patting, but, best if you don't go near her, k? For the longest time, I was subconsciously seeking out a male role model figure thingy. Not sure when I stopped, but it was well into adulthood. To this day, I befriend women better than men, and turn my nose at booze, since I've seen what it does to people.

Now? Well, with the recent hospital visit, supposedly he hasn't had any booze. Not sure how true that is. I'd be curious what his girlfriend has to say about it all. When he wasn't drinking in the past, he was an ok person. Am I sad my folks split up? I think it was the best for us. The living in the projects because mom had to support 3 kids with no financial support from dad part sucked. But I think seeing mom getting smacked around and hearing fights all the time would have imprinted the wrong kind of behavior on to me.

it's impossible for me to believe that my life would have been worse without my father. It seems to me that feeling rejected by an absent father would be less painful than being rejected and criticized by one who was present every damn day.

And Ginger sums up what I was going to say in a much longer post. I was glad when my father left my life and I know I was better off without him, but that's because I had him for 4 years and I knew what that was like. If my mom had stayed gone after she left him when she was pregnant with me, arguably I might have been better off, but I would probably have spent my life wondering what my father was like, and imagining him to be a much much better person than he actually was.

Ginger, I'll send the link to the Cancer Society to her, but she doesn't want this to be public knowledge. I highly doubt there's much crossover between her world and the Buffistas, but I don't know how she'd feel about my talking about it with my circle.

{{{Bitches in need}}}

A pox upon yesterday and an earnest wish for a better day today!

Dear Universe,
Pls to be laying off Connie's family. Stat.

Ta, ever so,
Buffistas

green bean casserole

We do a veggie casserole from frozen veggies and mushroom soup topped with Jarlsberg cheese (my mother hates Swiss) and fried onions. Cooks in the microwave, which is a good thing on Thanksgiving, and is teh nom.

*(Did I equivocate enough? That's my favorite Buffista pastime -- making sure that statements are equivocated, because absolute statements are often [though not always (see what I did there?)] followed by a post where someone immediately provides proof/anecdata to the contrary.)

There's a reason my tag used to be "I await your inevitable well-crafted responses proving me wrong."

Oh! I forgot to tell you all, I downloaded some of the samples from the Jeeves alarm clock website, and was greeted by the dulcet tones of Steven Fry saying "Good Morning Madam"

Awesome! How did you do that? I think I tried to right-click and dl but it didn't work.

We could work out a plan to brand or tattoo the ones that have already proven themselves.

Maybe make it part of the divorce settlement, so at least any future potential wives are well-warned.

he tried to lean in to give me a hug, started to fall over (because he was leaning on me, a small kid on crutches!) and saved his beer before saving me.

!!!!!

That should be a question on an "Are You a Douchnozzle" quiz.

7. A drink and a child (the latter on crutches) are both falling. Which do you catch first?

Connie, I'm sorry about your sister's cancer. My mom's was ovarian, and, while aggressive, it was also probably a different thing than uterine cancer. Much anti-cancer~ma to your sister in whatever treatment regimen she works with.

*(Did I equivocate enough? That's my favorite Buffista pastime -- making sure that statements are equivocated, because absolute statements are often [though not always (see what I did there?)] followed by a post where someone immediately provides proof/anecdata to the contrary.)

There's a reason my tag used to be "I await your inevitable well-crafted responses proving me wrong."

I probably need to learn to be more precise in my communication, but I really dislike how, too often, "precise" looks like "equivocation." And I hate equivocating.

Excellent use of parens, btw.

Connie, much -ma to your sister.

I don't really have the experience to comment on the douchenozzle parenting conversation. My dad died when I was a baby, and it hurt to be without him, but I was always comforted by people telling me what a good father he was.

I have a friend who is recently divorced. Just as his youngest graduated from college. He regrets waiting so long, because he is afraid that his daughter has no idea what a healthy relationship looks like ( his son , the younger one seems more perceptive.)