have I told you I'll be in Miami for thanksgiving, Tuesday through tuesday?

For a brief moment I was all "Wait! Wait! I can get down to Miami! I want some meara time!"

Then I stopped and thought about where I'm moving in two months.

DUH.

Carry on.

It's weird, but I think I'm making progress. My mom and I had a pretty calm conversation about my marriage without any yelling or crying. (First, though, she asked me to print something for her to give to my grandmother, and I told her I didn't have a printer, and I wasn't going to go somewhere to print it, so why didn't she just have my cousin do it for her, and she seemed to go along with that plan.)

She once again brought up the mantra, and I said I didn't think it would do any good if I didn't believe in it, but she said it would, since I was saying it. And when the priest told her to fast for 21 Tuesdays, she did, and on the "21th" Tuesday, she was engaged. I could fast for my body; it's good to fast one day a week. I did not assent to any of it, though, nor did I outright decline it. She just said her piece.

If I haven't found someone by next July or August, they are going to India in December, and they are taking me, and I will be married there. They were supposed to do it last year, but I got an extension because of my mom's surgery. I gave my usual "Whatever." She said the other option was to go to some Indian functions and meet a girl there. I said, yeah, I could try that.

"We are not your enemies," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"Do you think we're your enemies?"

"No, I know you're doing what you think is best, but it's not working for me, so."

A pause.

"With the amount of brains you have, you could have been anything," she said, about to get into the "Why'd You Drop Out of Grad School?" conversation.

"Oh, come on," I said, lightly, not snidely. "Why does every conversation have to go from one thing to another, when it doesn't have to do with anything? Don't do that. Focus on one thing!"

A pause.

"Okay," she said, and she kindly ended the conversation without any bitter remarks at all, to my surprise, as if she actually saw and understood my point.

I really don't want to get my hopes up, but she, at least, seems to be responding. I guess the more I speak up, the more they'll get used to it?

I guess the more I speak up, the more they'll get used to it?

Sunil, you are *awesome.* I mean that. The conversation was calm, you let your mom know that *you* know that they want the best for you, you asserted your boundaries, and it ended well.

Right ON.

If I haven't found someone by next July or August, they are going to India in December, and they are taking me, and I will be married there.

What? Are they going to kidnap you?

Possibly. They could hire ninjas. Perhaps they already have. I should do a sweep of the attic.

Happy birthday, Ginger!

Laura, God, I'm sorry you have to go through this. {{}}

And hugz, relax and sleep~ma to the Zmayhems as well.

omnis, I'm OK. I'm not stressing out about every little thing, and certainly don't handle every little problem as if it's a crisis. I was just blowing off some steam. But I still love you and appreciate the worry.

Nothing about my sis, but whatever that was, seems like will hear about it in the news. She was very distress. I'm wondering what the story was.

I learned today from my Great Aunt that my family has a lot of female doctors and nurses in it (including the first female physicians in England! ... who weren't allowed to see any male "naughty parts" during their training). What fascinated me about it is that said first doctors finished their studies in 1914 - just in time to WW1. That, with knowing that my mom did her first year in nursing school in 1973 (Yom Kippur war), and that my sister wants to study medicine, made me worry for a minute, thinking into what she'll have to dive in.

Now, off to finish reading a paper and see Ryan pics!

P-C, what Steph said. With sparkles on it.

(Sorry if my post came in the middle, it took me ages to type it...)

It isn't like I don't know where he is, about 4 blocks away. I have not specifically said, "you must come home this instant." The reason he is in trouble was the not talking to me about it before the fact. It's tough. He'll be 18 in January. We had a chat exchange yesterday morning. His phone is in the possession of the school office at the moment.

Part of my internal conflict is that I was already out of the house by about his age, living with my boyfriend (DH#1) shortly before I turned 18. I had dropped out of high school, had my GED, and was in business school. DH was also out of the house before he turned 18. My lifestyle at his age was far wilder. Way the hell wilder.

He isn't hanging with a bad group. I know the kids. The difference is that they are in college and he is in HS. He stayed the last couple nights at his friend's mom's house because he is home for the weekend from FSU. If I had any reason to believe he was up to anything outrageous I would have gone and picked him up.

It is impossible to know what the right thing to do is, but since I feel he is in a safe situation I'm not going maniac on him. Just yanking some privileges when he gets home. That will happen shortly when the friend heads back to FSU. Best guess is after the Dolphins finish kicking ass. I'd bet heavily they are watching the game with a half dozen other teens.

meara! Yes, I know you are heading this way. Tues - Tues. Hmmmm. I have to go to in-laws for Turkey day itself, but pretty free otherwise. Will send e shortly to coordinate a plan.

Laura, if you or Dad had disappeared off the radar without direct contact for more than 48 hours, I'm pretty sure he'd be worried and upset. Keeping the people who love you informed of your whereabouts and plans isn't wearing a leash or a lo-jack, it's adult behavior. That's nothing less than you're entitled to.

And my long post was xposty with Sunil. Dude, you are making progress. Listening to your mother and ending the conversation without yelling or tears is big. Also, we won't let them kidnap you. Apparently I have a different parenting style, but I do value the communication I have with the boys and hope that by working with them they might listen to me about important things, or at least value my opinion.